I am!!!

Edison reminded me of a fun time with Curt tonight and after we laughed he said "Curt was so fun, wasn't he Mama?  I miss him."  Edison spoke the truth.  He was so much fun!  He constantly made all of us laugh.  I know Edison misses him, I miss him so much it physically hurts sometimes. 

For about two years now, I have asked this question to Edison on a regular basis (like 2-6 times a day)... "Who's my favorite boy?" and he would quickly respond "Eddy" or "Me!" or "I am!"

After I started dating Curt, he had heard me say it over and over and one night, when I said, "Who's my favorite boy?" both Edison AND Curt responded at the same time... "I am!"...both with the same enthusiasm.  Edison got so tickled so I kept asking and they were having a race to see who could say it the quickest. Edison would always say "I'm really your favorite, right Mama?" and Curt would say "No...I am her favorite" and eventually I would settle it by telling them that Edison was my favorite little boy and Curt was my favorite big boy.  This became a ritual everytime both of them were together. 

One night, Curt and I and all four kids were together down at his house.  I asked the question and both Curt and Edison answered "I am!" obnoxiously loud.  So the next time, I said "Who's my favorite girl?" and Edison yelled out "I am" but I wasn't able to get Curt on that one.  Gabby cracked up and Curt was all over Edison calling him a girl!  We all had a big laugh together over that.  Edison took it well...he thought it was pretty funny too. 

I've only asked Edison our question a couple of times since Curt passed away, and I haven't even used my normal voice or inflection.  It's been more subdued.  Mostly because it's one of those sweet memories that I absolutely loved and that I really miss and while it started out being my patent question for Edison...Curt made it a lot of fun!

Tonight, after not seeing Edison over the weekend, I asked him in the same excited mom voice I used in the past..."Who's my favorite boy?" and he said "I am! and Mason is too since Curt isn't here anymore."  It broke my heart but I smiled and gave him a big hug and I said "You will always be my favorite little boy and I guess Mason can be my favorite boy dog."  Edison said, "Remember, Mama, when you would say 'Who's your favorite boy' (using the same voice I always had in the past) and me and Curt would both say 'I am!'"  I replied, "Yes, Edison, I remember that...I don't think I will ever forget it" and that's when he said "Curt was so fun, wasn't he Mama?  I miss him."  "I know you do, baby boy, I miss him too."

Watching Edison go through the grief process has been educational, emotional, sad, tiring, and at times...comical.  I plan to blog about that in the future, but for now...my favorite boy and my favorite boy dog are laying in the bed with me and it's time for all of us to go to sleep.  Goodnight friends...