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I've told you before, my friends, that I have a lot of anxiety. I can go for a few weeks and nothing bothers me. Life is good and it feels good to be me. And then, one incident can change my mood and it seems as if life snowballs from there. For instance, something happened on Sunday afternoon that made me very angry. It made the "mama bear claws" come out to protect my son from the very person from whom he should NEVER have to be protected.

I dealt with the issue (sort of) and tried to calm myself down. I decided that ice cream would help with the process. Now, there are two places to get ice cream in the city where I live and they are on complete opposite sides of town. I was returning home and passed up one of them for the ease of driving thru McDonald's drive-thru. I happen to live in a small rural community where the only chain restaurant we have is McDonald's and we've not had it for very many years. In my opinion, it is also the slowest McDonald's on the face of the earth, partly because there is always a long line of customers and partly because they are just slow.

I waited in line in the hot sun. Keep in mind that I do not have air conditioning in the Swagger Wagon and the temperature was 87 degrees outside. When I finally got to the speaker I ordered a kid sized ice cream cone and before I could get the rest of my order out, I heard, "I'm sorry, ma'am, our machine is broken." I asked, "what machine? the ice cream machine?" and she replied "yeah." Again, keep in mind that I not only needed the ice cream to help cool me off mentally, I now needed it to cool me off physically. I have a hard time keeping my "cool" when I'm sweating! Through gritted teeth I said, "I have been sitting in the hot sun WITHOUT air conditioning for more than 10 minutes waiting with my cranky child for ICE CREAM! I think the least you all could do is place a sign in line that states your ice cream machine is BROKEN!" No, I wasn't nice, but she was. In her best, "can I help ya" voice she said, "is there anything else I can get for ya, a frappe' or an iced tea?" Oh, it sounded good but I didn't have the money for a mocha frap and I refused to buy anything if I couldn't get ice cream. We pulled out of line and headed back to the other side of town where Edison and I were eventually able to enjoy some ice cream.

This week, things have continued to snowball. As always, I have financial worries and right now I'm having to make a pretty big decision, on my own, with some counsel of course. I always enjoy heading to Facebook to update my status when I get stressed out. Facebook always poses the question "What's on your mind?" I can never truly type in that little box what is really on my mind so I search for clever, funny sayings to try to let people know what I am feeling while also making them laugh. That way, it keeps it light, gets some "likes" and maybe a few comments of encouragement. My choice of finding and posting clever sayings is better than the alternative of posting what's really on my mind - trust me!!!

Yesterday I posted that I was a little like Dorothy...always finding men who are either cowards, have no heart or no brain. It was not "man bashing" just a funny statement I swiped from Status Shuffle that sounded funny to me. It was actually a statement about ME and really doesn't even apply because I'm not always "finding men". As soon as I posted the update, I logged out and when I logged back in a few hours later, I was surprised to see the post had received quite a number of responses. I soon had people texting me on my phone, calling me at home, sending me chats via Facebook and even inbox messages from people who "didn't want to get involved" but who were very offended by a comment that was made by a man on my page. Oh, once again, I had an opinion, and I so wanted to share it, but I chose to take the high road and keep my mouth shut (for the most part).

To take a break from the stress of my Facebook post, I decided to take a look at my blog and there I found that again, a man had a comment about something I stated in my recent post about visiting the Kentucky State Fair. Evidently, a comment I made had been "tracked" by the Kentucky Lottery and they felt compelled to "set me straight!" First of all, I find it interesting that my words are "being tracked" by our State Government and it makes me wonder who else monitors our "freedom of speech." Lesson learned --- Now I know not to voice any threats toward anyone in future posts. Secondly, I'm not sure whether to be excited that my blog is drawing attention or offended that people feel the need to always comment on something I have to say. I invite encouraging comments to any Facebook posts or blog entries because that's what I need in my life, positive encouragement. It seems the past few days I have been verbally attacked but I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Thirdly, Mr. Polson of the Kentucky Lottery will get a response from me because I think I made it clear in my blog that I do not participate in the Lottery and I have my own reasons for that. Right now, I am collecting some statistics that I intend to share with him and the rest of my readers.

So - many things - my bad mood, multiple wrongs in my life, broken ice cream machines, money problems, big decisions, and comments that everyone seems to have to everything I have to say caused me to get only 3 hours of sleep last night. There is one other pattern my moods seem to follow and I will clue you all in. This is PMS week and my PMS week always coincides with Full Moon week. I don't sleep well during PMS week. I don't sleep well during Full Moon week. Add PMS with a full moon, sprinkle with lots of anxiety and you get one sleep deprived Be-Otchy woman!

My advice to anyone reading this...if you can't comment something nice, please don't comment at all! Have a nice day :-)