COSMOPOLITAN Magazine - My Guilty Pleasure

There is a truth I learned about one year post-divorce...I discovered that my 20 years of marriage had been thwarted by reading the wrong magazines!  I thought I was doing right being the southern girl that I am.  Religiously, while standing in line at the Wal-Mart or Kroger checkout, I would purchase Good Housekeeping and Southern Living, come home, put away my items and read them cover to cover.  I was gifted a yearly subscription of Better Homes and Gardens from my mother-in-law and read every article of that magazine as well.  As I am an avid reader, I am notorious for a stack of reading material next to my bed.  I had a notebook collection of pages torn from these magazines of house plans, color schemes and garden designs, planning for my future with my husband.  I tried the occasional new recipe and if the family enjoyed it, the page found its way into my recipe box.  I got much needed tips on organizing my clutter, spring cleaning, and tried to keep up on the latest home fashions.


Several years into our marriage, the focus of my reading changed and I began purchasing such magazines as Parents, Child, Parenting Today and when the kids got a little older, Family Fun.  These periodicals focused on my task at hand, raising healthy, happy children and having fun with them!  Eventually, as the children got older, I let the parenting magazine subscriptions expire and focused again on our home...and then I got divorced...

At that point, I no longer cared about cooking a new recipe...there was no one to try it.  I no longer cared about the latest home fashions...there was no money to buy them!  The possibility of once again owning my own home and actually having the time to decorate, garden and enjoy it seemed out of my future realm and quite frankly, overwhelming, as I struggle to manage the basics as a single, working mom of three.  I had finished reading all of the "How to Deal with Divorce" books and quickly realized that I needed a new magazine.  I checked out the stands and there were plenty to choose from but the one that caught my eye and continues to catch it each month is COSMOPOLITAN!  Cosmo has been dubbed "The Single Girl's Bible" and while I have a problem with referring to anything other than the Holy Bible as a "bible", I prefer to think of it as "The Single Girl's Handbook".  Cosmo Magazine is my guilty pleasure :-)

Unfortunately, I am not a Cosmo girl and I've come to the realization that I never will be, however, I enjoy taking a few days at the beginning of each month, to indulge myself and wonder what life would be like if I were once again, young and free, with a killer body, no commitments, and plenty of money.  The magazine is divided into 15 sections:  Cover Stories; Cosmo News; 101 Things About Men; Fun Fearless Fashion; Cosmo Look; Guy Watch; Love & Lust; You, Even Better; Health Check; Need to Know; Cosmo Confidential; Fun and Fearless; Fashion and Beauty Now; Cosmo Life and Regular Features.

The Cover Stories are always an eye catcher and usually hidden from children's eyes by a metal cover deliberately placed over the names of the cover stories as the magazine sits on the news stand.  After buying several issues and keeping the back issues on my coffee table, I quickly discovered that the word SEX is strategically placed in the upper left hand column of almost every issue.  If the word "sex" is not used, it's something very closely related...see for yourself...

Several of Dana's back issues of Cosmopolitan Magazine

It is for this reason I say I was reading the wrong magazines all these years.  Now that I read Cosmo, let's just say that I have a wealth of knowledge about what men want, need and crave and also instructions on how to keep him happy. 

All jokes aside, I truly enjoy reading Cosmo.  Even though I know this full-figured 40 year old would look ridiculous in most of the latest fashions, I like to keep up with what my teenage daughters may find appealing.  It's always important to know the latest health and diet tips and who can resist looking at the newest hairstyles and make-up tips?  The biggest thing I've learned from Cosmo is to be confident about myself.  To hold my head up and be proud of who I am.  Who knows if I'll ever meet Mr. Right?  Who knows if the man of my dreams even exists?  If he doesn't, that's okay because I don't need a man to define who I am, but if he is out there and I find him...I know lots of stuff to keep us busy...and I know that if we should marry...I will continue to indulge in my guilty pleasure and purchase Cosmopolitan Magazine each and every month (insert evil grin)!

Time to Read

Okay, so it's been awhile since I posted.  I've been crazy busy with moving and unpacking.  I had a yard sale to get rid of some stuff I no longer wanted.  I've been sick and Edison and Kensley were sick.  I've still got lots of things to unpack but the boxes have been pushed to the corners to allow us to live comfortably.  I did go out during lunch today with my friend from work, Miss Maria.  Today, we went to....

Half Price Books.  I LOVE that store.  If you have never been to a Half Price Books bookstore, you must go!  They have tons of used books, dvds, games and even vinyl record albums if you're into that.  Today I was on a mission.  Recently I was talking to a friend and we were discussing DVDs we would like to have in our permanent collection.  I have a few already --- Grease, Forrest Gump, Top Gun, The Proposal --- and I have a mental list of others I want to obtain.  Rather than search and pay full price at Wal-Mart, I browsed the selection at Half-Price Books.  I found two that I wanted and I paid $4.98 for each of them.  The first was Fatal Attraction and the second was Steel Magnolias.  I can mark those two off my list - yay!

Next, I went to look at books.  Now this is a HUGE bookstore and it's arranged like any other "normal" bookstore.  It's not fancy like our beloved Joseph-Beth, located in Lexington, but you can do without the fanciness for the awesome prices!  For some reason, I always find myself perusing the Self-Help section - LOL!  My preacher, Bro. Kaywood Morris, reminds his congregation frequently, that no Self-Help book, other than the Holy Bible, is gonna help you.  He also tells us that nothing Oprah or Dr. Phil have to say can help us either.  We have to read the Bible, pray and listen to God speak.  I agree wholeheartedly, Bro. Kaywood, but I just can't help myself --- I'm addicted to self-help books.

Looking at book titles alone is amusing and a good source of therapy.  For instance, I took a look at the Relationship books and realized I didn't need any of those titles!

• Life After Divorce - I'm living it.  
• Split: A Memoir of Divorce - I'll read my journal. 
• Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat - too late, I should have read that about 4 years ago.  
• Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life - again, too late.
• Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity - still dealing but I don't need this book.
• How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce - uhhhh?  Not gonna need this one.
• How to Mend a Broken Heart - it just takes time...

Once I realized I was past this, I looked over at the next section --- "Sex Studies".  These just made me laugh out loud.

• Sexuality Today - has it changed from yesterday? 
• Sexual Life in Ancient India - I'm still wondering how much has changed...
• Sex Matters - well, duh!
• Sex With the Queen - really, there was a study on this?
• My Parents Never Had Sex - mine did, three times.
• I'm Not in the Mood - well, I am :-)
• Hot and Bothered - maybe this one was in the wrong sextion section.
• What's Love Got to Do With It? - good question
• Women On Top - really, there was a study on this?

Next, I moved to the "Love and Dating" section, cause' I am ready for that.  I saw lots of interesting titled books, including:

• Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - I already have that one, actually bought it as a newlywed - hahaha
• Why Mars and Venus Collide -yeah, prolly should have followed up with that one years ago...
• What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know - bwahahaha
• Find a Husband After 35 - they write books about this? I'm in trouble...remember I'm in the self-help section...
• The Joy of Text - now that, my friend, could be an interesting read.
• Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - I'm pretty good at this, I had several years practice.
• Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find - again, bwahahahaha
• Loving a Younger Man - oooo, how do I do this?  I'm curious! 
• Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid -yeah, and?????
• Sex Begins in the Kitchen - so that might be a problem, I HATE the kitchen...
• No More Lonely Nights - as of when????
• Falling in Love Again - I'm gonna try not to "fall" this time...

So then I moved to another shelf and I found this book. 

but I didn't buy it either, cause I'm not 40.  I'm 39 years and 10 months.