Monday, October 18, 2010

Time to Read

Okay, so it's been awhile since I posted.  I've been crazy busy with moving and unpacking.  I had a yard sale to get rid of some stuff I no longer wanted.  I've been sick and Edison and Kensley were sick.  I've still got lots of things to unpack but the boxes have been pushed to the corners to allow us to live comfortably.  I did go out during lunch today with my friend from work, Miss Maria.  Today, we went to....

Half Price Books.  I LOVE that store.  If you have never been to a Half Price Books bookstore, you must go!  They have tons of used books, dvds, games and even vinyl record albums if you're into that.  Today I was on a mission.  Recently I was talking to a friend and we were discussing DVDs we would like to have in our permanent collection.  I have a few already --- Grease, Forrest Gump, Top Gun, The Proposal --- and I have a mental list of others I want to obtain.  Rather than search and pay full price at Wal-Mart, I browsed the selection at Half-Price Books.  I found two that I wanted and I paid $4.98 for each of them.  The first was Fatal Attraction and the second was Steel Magnolias.  I can mark those two off my list - yay!

Next, I went to look at books.  Now this is a HUGE bookstore and it's arranged like any other "normal" bookstore.  It's not fancy like our beloved Joseph-Beth, located in Lexington, but you can do without the fanciness for the awesome prices!  For some reason, I always find myself perusing the Self-Help section - LOL!  My preacher, Bro. Kaywood Morris, reminds his congregation frequently, that no Self-Help book, other than the Holy Bible, is gonna help you.  He also tells us that nothing Oprah or Dr. Phil have to say can help us either.  We have to read the Bible, pray and listen to God speak.  I agree wholeheartedly, Bro. Kaywood, but I just can't help myself --- I'm addicted to self-help books.

Looking at book titles alone is amusing and a good source of therapy.  For instance, I took a look at the Relationship books and realized I didn't need any of those titles!
  • Life After Divorce - I'm living it.  
  • Split: A Memoir of Divorce - I'll read my journal
  • Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat - too late, I should have read that about 4 years ago.  
  • Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life - again, too late.
  • Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity - still dealing but I don't need this book.
  • How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce - uhhhh?  Not gonna need this one.
  • How to Mend a Broken Heart - it just takes time...
Once I realized I was past this, I looked over at the next section --- "Sex Studies".  These just made me laugh out loud.

  • Sexuality Today - has it changed from yesterday? 
  • Sexual Life in Ancient India - I'm still wondering how much has changed...
  • Sex Matters - well, duh!
  • Sex With the Queen - really, there was a study on this?
  • My Parents Never Had Sex - mine did, three times.
  • I'm Not in the Mood - well, I am :-)
  • Hot and Bothered - maybe this one was in the wrong sextion section.
  • What's Love Got to Do With It? - good question
  • Women On Top - really, there was a study on this?

Next, I moved to the "Love and Dating" section, cause' I am ready for that.  I saw lots of interesting titled books, including:

  • Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - I already have that one, actually bought it as a newlywed - hahaha
  • Why Mars and Venus Collide -yeah, prolly should have followed up with that one years ago...
  • What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know - bwahahaha
  • Find a Husband After 35 - they write books about this? I'm in trouble...remember I'm in the self-help section...
  • The Joy of Text - now that, my friend, could be an interesting read.
  • Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - I'm pretty good at this, I had several years practice.
  • Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find - again, bwahahahaha
  • Loving a Younger Man - oooo, how do I do this?  I'm curious! 
  • Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid -yeah, and?????
  • Sex Begins in the Kitchen - so that might be a problem, I HATE the kitchen...
  • No More Lonely Nights - as of when????
  • Falling in Love Again - I'm gonna try not to "fall" this time...
So then I moved to another shelf and I found this book. 

















but I didn't buy it either, cause I'm not 40.  I'm 39 years and 10 months.

1 comment:

  1. Dana...this was hysterical!!!! I needed some humor so thanks for providing it!!!!
    Kathie

    ReplyDelete