Birthdays + Christmas = BUSY TIME OF YEAR

Turning 40 wasn't so bad...I didn't really think it would be...it just sounds so ugly!  My sister, Lea Ann and my friend, Tawnya, hosted a party in my honor to celebrate the occasion.  Several good friends and some favorite cousins came and we had an enjoyable evening of tasty food and some special Jase Juice. 

My sister always has Fruit Juicy Red Hawaiian punch in her refrigerator because her son, Jase, likes it.  Her grandson, Cash, started calling it "Jase Juice" a few years ago and it caught on.  Anytime someone is having Hawaiian punch, we call it Jase Juice.  Add some pure grain alcohol to it and it becomes "special Jase Juice" :-) HAHA!  I thought my "hooch" days ended when prom and field parties ended, but evidently NOT!  Those of us who partook of the special recipe were having HOT FLASHES, whether we were 32, 62 or somewhere in between!  It was all in good fun though and everyone was responsible...

I received great gifts.  You would think I was some kind of alcoholic with the 6 bottles of wine and the special recipe my sister served - LOL - but that is far from truth.  In addition to the wine, I received an overnight bag monogrammed with my name, candles, chocolate, a cute little wine glass, lotion, a gown, a watch, gift certificates for pedicures and massages and lots of other items.  I wish I had my list in front of me and I would name everything!  I forgot how fun a birthday could be and I think I want to have one EVERY year!!!  Why do we stop having birthday parties anyway?  LOL!  I took one bottle of wine to a party the other night to share and now I'm down to 4.5 bottles (you can do the math) :-)

My oldest daughter is now driving with her permit which has added a few gray hairs to the ones I already have to hide with color.  She asks every time we walk out the door if she can drive and I have been so overwhelmed and stressed out lately, I don't feel that it is safe.  When she is driving I have to do double duty.  Not only am I scanning the highway for trouble that might happen and helping her watch all the other cars, I'm also aware of everything she does, ready to take over at any second.  I am so tense by the time we arrive at our destination that I can barely loosen up enough to open the door.  She's a good driver and when I am calm, all is well.  There has just been a lot going on in my life that is preventing me from getting any rest and if I'm not on top of my game, I feel it is unsafe for me to be the adult driver responsible.  I have promised her that when she returns tomorrow and while she is with me the remainder of this year, that she can drive EVERYWHERE we go, unless the weather is unsafe.  Ice storm????  Where are you????  Okay...I'm ready to ride shotgun and I'm gonna be singing Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" the whole time.  Just kidding...she really is a good driver and I'm very proud of her!

My middle child is now officially a TEENAGER!!!!  My old blog was entitled "One Toddler, One Teen and One In-Between".  It's definitely the old blog now.  I still have a toddler and now I have TWO TEENS!  Wow - I should definitely be 40!  Kensley's birthday is 2 days before Christmas and that is not a good time for a birthday party so we are having it on Saturday, 1/1/11.  She has invited about 30 kids (mostly 7th graders) and we are having a taco bar, cupcakes and games.  I want it to be lots of fun and I want them still talking about it when they return to school 2 days later so I've got lots of planning to do between now and then. 

Edison has not been home much since Christmas and he's ready to be back in his home.  Every night when he talks to me he tells me he wants to come back to his "Mommy's home" and I am so ready for him to be here.  He has toys and games he has not even had a chance to play with and he hasn't been feeling well either.  Tomorrow, I will feel like life is back to normal (whatever normal is).  I'm off this week and I will have all three kids under my roof and that makes life good - chaotic at times - but GOOD!

I think divorce is awful through the holidays!  Of course, my kids would probably disagree.  Emily told me that being divorced is especially cool at Christmas and Birthdays because she gets more presents.  I understand that is typical 17 year old logic - ME ME ME!  Actually, I too, was quite impressed with all they received.  Of course, I felt like they had a pauper's Christmas at my house compared to what they got everywhere else, but that is an issue I must deal with and get past.  My kids love me for me and I know that I don't have to buy their love.  The girls were so good to thank me over and over for what I did get them and I appreciated that.  I did what I could and it's all bought and paid for.  My rule of not charging anything at Christmastime has not changed.  If I can't pay cash, I don't buy it.  The best thing is that I don't have to figure out how to pay for it later and that keeps some of my stress at bay!


So...I turned 40 and the world is still revolving!  I have one child who is driving, another who has entered her teenage years.  I have a little boy who loves his Mommy.  I survived Christmas and it was much easier than last year.  The good thing is that I can now see that life gets easier.  Last year, I cried when I took my kids to meet their dad after leaving my grandmother's house on Christmas Eve and waking up alone on that first divorced Christmas morning was one of the most sad times in all my life.  This year was my year.  They stayed with me on Christmas Eve and woke up to Santa on Christmas morning.  We had a FUN day!  We opened gifts, we unpackaged the gifts (which can be quite challenging and time consuming), we watched a movie together, we ate brunch, we played Phase 10 and played with other games and toys and had a great morning!  But it was no easier when their grandparents came to pick them up to take them to their dad.  I shut the door behind them at 1:00 on Christmas afternoon, I cried and I stayed in my pajamas all day long and I slept off and on and watched the clock, waiting for the day to end...

I picked up the kids the next day to spend Christmas with my mom and dad and my family.  We pretty much had a 24 hour on - 24 hour off Christmas schedule in order to accommodate everyone's family.  I met them at the half-way point and went straight to my Mom and Dad's house for more present opening.  My daughters and my brother's daughters all ended up spending the night with Nannie and Papa and I think they had a great time together.  Since my kids' dad is an only child, they only have cousins on my side of the family so I feel it's super important that they get to know each other and have fun when they are together.  Some of my favorite memories of Christmas are those spent with my cousins on Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house.  We still all get together on Christmas Eve and it's chaotic because there are so many of us now and we all have very different personalities and different ways of doing things and different ideas about things, and there is such a large age range of people...but at the same time, I cannot imagine NOT going to my grandmother's for Christmas Eve, because it's all I've ever known.  Of course, I'm becoming a pro at CHANGE :-)

The kids have spent the past few days with their dad and I have spent the past few days catching up on some much needed REST and RELAXATION!  I laid on the couch most of yesterday watching movies.  I had not done that forever!  I started with Date Night starring Steve Carell and Tina Fey and laughed through the entire thing.  I then watched The Expendables and enjoyed seeing all the old guys from my teen days reunite (Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren) and I might add that they are all still VERY fine looking men!  I finished by watching The Back-Up Plan with Jennifer Lopez and I laughed and teared and it was a very sweet movie.  Sometime this weekend, I plan to watch John Wayne in True Grit so I can be ready to see Matt Damon on the big screen in the re-make of True Grit.  I'll let you all know how that goes.  I was way more productive today, cleaning the kitchen, changing the sheets, straightening the house, taking a shower (LOL!) just getting ready for the return of my three favorite people in the whole world! 

I don't think I will ever get used to sharing my kids.  I don't like to share my kids.  It's not natural but I do it because I have to.  The very worst part of divorce is being apart from your kids when it is not your choice to be apart from them.  Oh, yes, I need the occasional break, and I try to enjoy it most of the time, but during the holidays, it's impossible!  Sharing...I try to teach my kids to do it...it's part of how things get done around here...but in the words of my teenagers...it SUCKS but I'm dealing!  I'll look at the bright side...I am blessed that my children have a father who wants them and I'm also glad that he and I are able to work out a holiday schedule that accommodates everyone.  I think our kids are worn out but they too, survived the Holidays, and they have LOTS OF STUFF, but most of all, MEMORIES, to prove it :-)

On Turning 40...

In less than a week, I will celebrate my 40th birthday...and I have mixed feelings about the occasion...

When I turned 30, I had been married 12 years and had two children, I figured I needed to be 30.
When I turned 35, I had been married almost half my life and I figured I needed to be 35.
Between 35 and 40...my life CHANGED dramatically...

I went back to college and earned my bachelor's degree, I became the mother of a toddler and I went through a heartbreaking divorce...I think the thing that bothers me the most about turning 40 is that I'm just not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, but then, I think about that and I feel guilty because truthfully, I am not where I want to be materialistically in my life.

At age 40, I struggle to make ends meet on my single salary and child support.  After being a homeowner for 16 years, I now rent.  I was driving a bright red, loaded, new model vehicle and now drive a 12 year old mini-van that cramps my single lifestyle.

I have a WISH LIST of material items --- it includes...

• an iPhone 4 (my mom told me she would buy me one for Christmas IF I were an only child). 
• 2011 Chevrolet Camaro (color choice: arrest-me-red)
• a rockin' SYSTEM in my car (cause the Swagger Wagon has a busted speaker and a cassette player)
• a home of my own (just because I miss that)
• a new stylish wardrobe --- one that fits after my weight loss and of which my daughters approve and also cool shoes to go with it!

But then, I think, these are just THINGS, Dana!  In the grand scheme of life, what do they really mean?

• Sure, an iPhone 4 may not need to be charged as often as the iPhone I currently have (and yes, I realize I complain about money and have an iPhone, but it is truly one of the only indulgences I have for ME --- well, that and my acrylic nails - that I don't get filled-in often enough)
• I would truly look GOOD in a bright red Camaro, but what about on snow days?  How useful would a rear-wheel drive sports car be on a day like today?  And my gosh!  The insurance would be outrageous, right?  
• Oh!  And I LOVE music and I look forward to the day when I drive a car that has a better system than the Swagger Wagon.  Part of what gives my mini-van its "swagger" is the fact that the right front speaker is busted and it has an AM/FM Cassette player - NO CD PLAYER - however, I can run my iTunes through an FM Transmitter and listen to my extensive music collection through my car speakers.  I just have to adjust the speakers if I'm listening to a song with some bass, otherwise, it sounds like someone is trying to play a Kazoo.  
• A home of my own.  I have great landlords and they pretty much let me do what I want to do.  They even let my daughter paint her room PURPLE! And the best part of not owning my own home?  I didn't get the TAX BILL in the mail in October meaning I am not stressing about having to pay it by the end of the year!  
• New clothes and shoes?  I can still shop the sale racks - I always have!  And I have never been one to be crazy over name-brands, although a good pair of name-brand shoes sure feel better than generic knock-offs.  For the most part, if I find something I like, it fits and it's a good deal?  I'll buy it. 

So...aside from material items, I need to be happy with what I have.  Realizing that turning 40 is better than the alternative -- being dead!  I'm certainly not ready for that!  I'm healthy, I'm happy, I love my family and my family loves me!  I have three wonderful, beautiful children!  I have great friends and an awesome church family. I know God!  Those are the important things. 

A few months before I turned 30, Tim McGraw released a new album that had a song entitled "My Next 30 Years".  Here are the lyrics...

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years


I LOVED that song!  I even purchased the CD and gave it to my best friend, Melissa, for her 30th birthday that year.  Y'all all know that I'm not listening to Tim McGraw much these days.  I'm a KID ROCK FANatic!  Kid Rock turns 40 in January and he just released his most mellow CD EVER!  Of course, with the release of a new CD, means a TOUR, which also means that I want to see him when he comes to LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY on February 11th!  He got me through my divorce and now he needs to get me through my 40th year!


I found a poem online about turning 40...the author is unknown, but I like her thoughts :-)


Fine Chardonnay!

It's hard to believe I'm 39.
But am I aging like fine wine?

They say 39 is the new 25
Could someone please tell my thighs.

My make-up free days are a thing of the past.
I just hope my concealer lasts.

What are these grey hairs atop my head.
Tell me Miss Clairol, should I go red?

These lines on my face are beginning to furrow
Soon they'll be deep enough for a rabbit's burrow

But joking and silliness aside
This has been a wonderful ride

So 40 I'm ready, bring what you may
I've decided, I'm a fine Chardonnay!

Temper Tantrums

I realize that many of you who follow this blog also follow me on Facebook and read about my week, but I just wanted to put my crazy life into story form...

I'll start with Tuesday...I woke up to pouring rain...it literally rained ALL DAY LONG!  And it wasn't a little drizzle, this was a hard soaking rain that by nights end was causing flooding in areas of the state.  I normally get out of the office each day at lunchtime, if not to buy lunch, at least to go shopping (well...looking...because you have to have money to shop).  I wasn't going anywhere Tuesday, except back to my warm, cozy home.  I decided to order a pizza from Papa John's and have them deliver, keeping in mind that Edison and I could eat the leftovers for dinner.

The work day finally came to an end but my time of relaxation was far from over.  The drive home, which normally takes 50-60 minutes, turned into one hour and 30 minutes.  I don't understand how drivers suddenly forget to drive when there is any kind of precipitation falling!  For several minutes I sat completely still on New Circle Road and the rest of the time, I was driving at a snail's pace.  There were no wrecks - just non-drivers!  Needless to say, I was a little stressed by the time I arrived at the baby sitter's house (20 minutes late!).

Finally, at 6:30 p.m., Edison and I walked into our home.  I was so thankful that I had purchased the pizza earlier in the day and would not have to cook dinner.  Edison was starving and I was trying to change out of my work clothes into something more comfortable and warm.  He asked if he could get a piece of pizza for himself.  Since I've been trying to teach him to be a little more independent by undressing and dressing himself, hanging up his coat and putting on his shoes, I thought that would be fine.  I was wrong!

He came into my bedroom and he was rubbing the big yellowish-green jalapeno pepper all between his hands.  He asked, "What's this?"  I said, "Edison!  That is a hot pepper!  You need to go throw it away, wash your hands and DO NOT rub your eyes."  A few minutes later I hear the water running and some whining.  I walk into the bathroom, see Edison standing at the sink with water on his hands RUBBING his eyes!  The jalapeno pepper was floating in the toilet!  I washed his hands with soap, cleaned out his eyes, flushed the toilet and told him to go get a piece of pizza while I finished changing my clothes.  I met him as he was walking out of the kitchen, pizza in one hand and an open container of garlic butter dripping all down his pants and onto the kitchen floor!!  So, once again, I had another mess to clean up.  At some point that evening, I finally got to enjoy my own slice of pizza.  It's funny how you think you can have everything planned for a simple evening and how difficult that one evening can become when a 3 year old is involved.

FAST FORWARD to Wednesday night.  I picked Edison up from the sitter and he was very tired.  I desperately needed groceries and decided to head to Wal-Mart.  Now, Wal-Mart is an overwhelming place for Edison.  It always has been from the time he joined us at age 17 months.  I guess it's because he never experienced anything like it in his first few developmental months.  I think he gets overstimulated in Wal-Mart with the colors, sights, sounds, tall ceilings, items stacked so high, etc. Come to think of it, I get overwhelmed in Wal-Mart :-)   I knew Edison was tired so I opted for Stanford's Wal-Mart which is much smaller.  He fell asleep on the way there and I laid him in the buggy.  He slept almost the entire time which allowed me to peacefully shop for the items on my list --- until he woke up.  He woke up in a daze and then he wanted to see the toys...

We usually always go through the toys but my children have always known that going through the toys doesn't necessarily mean you will get to bring a toy home.  Most of the time we don't bring toys home, but occasionally, I like to surprise them and say "Sure, you can have that!"  It's Christmastime and I've been wanting to spend some time with Edison in the toy department to see what catches his eye.  Being Christmastime also means we have all been asking him, "What do you want for Christmas?"  I think this confused him.  We were going to the toys, I kept asking him what he wanted for Christmas and he couldn't grasp that Christmas wasn't Wednesday night!!!  When we left the toy department, he was crying "I want a toy!" and by the time we got to the front of the store, he was screaming "I WANT A TOY!"  As usual, there were 2 checkout lanes opened so I stood in line for about 15 minutes with a child who was red-faced, screaming and crying "I WANT A TOY!"  I had other parents trying to talk to him, Wal-Mart employee's showing him holographic gift cards, and then there was me saying "You are not getting a toy, Edison, and if you continue to scream like this, I'm not sure Santa will bring any either!" 


We finally got to the van.  By this time, Edison was out of control, screaming, crying, kicking his feet, arching his back, throwing his head around - a FULL-BLOWN TEMPER TANTRUM.  I remained calm, speaking softly, trying not to escalate the tantrum, however, I'm not sure it could have been escalated at that point.  I wrangled him into his car seat, which was not easy, and I still have a bruise on my forearm from a child's Nike Shox, size 10.  He continued to scream while I stood in the biting cold consolidating the many Wal-Mart bags which contained one item each - grrrrrrrr!

While putting bag after bag inside one another (there were probably close to 25 and I only purchased 35 items), a car alarm went off.  I'm stressed!  My child is screaming, my hands are freezing, I'm trying to get the bags into my van and the car facing me is flashing its lights and blowing the horn, very LOUDLY!  I am now suffering from sensory overload and I stopped, looked up at the sky and said "God!  Please Help Me!"  I know the Salvation Army bell ringer thought I had lost my mind, especially when I, myself, discovered that the alarm going off was MINE!  I had hit the PANIC button....  I thought it was the car in front of me because (1) my headlights were reflecting off their headlights so I thought that car was making the noise, and (2) my van is so old, I didn't realize it had a panic button!  I get the alarm disengaged and I sit down.  That is when Edison began kicking the back of my seat!


At this point, I knew better than to open my mouth to say anything because I would have yelled at him and I knew I had to keep driving, because if I pulled over, I would have spanked him, harder than necessary.  Instead, I called my friend, Tawnya.  I apologized to her that she would have to listen to him but that it was necessary to keep me from losing my mind!  Tawnya has three children, including one set of twin boys.  She told me she had never had a child act like that and had NEVER heard a child sound like him.  She told me he sounded possessed - which I totally agreed.  He was in another realm - completely out of control!  While I was talking to Tawnya, my daughter Emily buzzed in.  She needed help with her homework - HAHAHA!  She tried to explain to me what she needed and I finally said, "Emily, I can't hear you.  You are cutting out and even if we had a good connection, I'm not sure I could hear you from all the screaming, so I will call you back when I get home, goodbye." (CLICK).  I get a text message from her a minute later that says "Daddy is helping me.  Also, the grinch is on 180.  I thought eddy would like to watch it.  Love you! And, be patient :)"  I LOVE that girl and I will come back to her in a minute...for now, I'm still in the middle of this screaming so loud it's hurting my ears, kicking the back of my seat so hard he kicked his shoe off FIT!

I had been in the car with him for about 12 minutes and he had started the fit about 15 minutes before we exited Wal-Mart so this has continued for approximately 1/2 hour.  I'm driving by Forks of Dix River Baptist Church. It's 8:10 - people are leaving.  I have lots of friends there.  I pull in to the Family Life Center where some kids are standing and I ask them to please go inside and get Jeff or Bridget Moss.  Edison LOVES both of them.  Pulling into the church has gotten Edison's attention.  My sister said he probably realized he was getting ready for a "Come To Jesus Meeting with his Mama" - haha!  The kids came back out and said "Jeff will be out in a minute".  By the time Jeff came out, Edison had pretty much quit screaming, he wasn't even really crying, he was snubbing and he looked EXHAUSTED!  I was in tears and it was wonderful to me that Jeff was talking to him and that he wasn't screaming and I was so thankful that I had not lost my temper.  Jeff told his wife later that night he didn't really feel like he had done anything; but, he did! 

I asked God for help when I was standing in the parking lot at Wal-Mart. I think he was the one who encouraged me not to interact with Edison because I'm normally a reactor and things would have only escalated.  He told me to keep driving and not pull over.  He gave me patience, although they were wearing thin.  Tawnya doesn't always answer her phone when I call at night because she's busy with dinner, homework, family time and getting her kids ready for bed - so that was helpful.  I happened to drive by my "old" church just as they were dismissing Wednesday night service and I knew Jeff & Bridget would be there and could help with Edison.  It was a God thing!

Now, back to Emily...I have 17 years of experience with temper tantrums.  Miss Emily has thrown some of the biggest red-headed fits you could ever imagine over the years.  Looking back, I think a lot of hers were due to over-stimulation and hypersensitivity to things going on around her (although they were never in public, only at home and at large family events).  When I told my sister, Lea Ann, that Tawnya had said she had never heard a child act like him, my sister said, "Well, she never heard Emily did she?"  I learned long ago that when something set Emily off and I reacted, she over-reacted and it became a snowball effect of too much reaction!!!  I'm not even going into what kind of tantrums she threw.  They were horrible and they started when she was about 6 weeks old up and lasted 16 years!  Many family members and some of my friends have experienced them and know exactly what I'm talking about.  Others who never saw her in action do not believe me when I tell them she can behave in this way.  It was endearing to me when she sent the grown-up text telling me to "be patient" with Eddy because now, that she is maturing, she realizes that I did have a lot of patience.  My mom and I have said many times that Emily was blessed to have Paul and I as her parents because many mothers and fathers would have abused her.  I didn't always have enough patience when she threw her "fits" but I never hurt her.  Luckily, we had a strong support system of family and friends to help us. And, now, with Edison, even though his Dad isn't around to help, I still have a strong support system of family and friends and for that I am TRULY BLESSED!

Maybe it says something about my parenting style that I would have one biological child and one adopted child who can throw the Temper Tantrum of all Temper Tantrums...but I don't think so, because where does that put "Laid Back Kensley?"  I'm hoping that this Mother of all Temper Tantrums was a once in his lifetime thing, but, if not, I've had experience with them before and I can get through them...praying for patience the entire time!

THANKSGIVING!! I've not even finished the Halloween candy yet!

Wow, until I pulled up my blog tonight, I didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted. In fact, since my last post, we've celebrated Halloween and today, despite the fact that we haven't finished eating all the Halloween candy, it was time for Thanksgiving...

Edison was Mickey Mouse for Halloween this year.  I wanted him to be an Indian again; however, Emily said something similar to this:  "Mom!  Neither Kensley nor I EVER dressed in the same costume two years in a row and Edison is not going to either!"  She was correct, she had a point, however, when she and Kensley were little, I didn't live on a budget as tight as the one I live on now!  The Indian costume fit him better this year than it did last year and it was going to be a little bit different...last year he was an Indian brave with a headband and ONE feather...this year he was going to be the Indian CHIEF with a full feather headdress!  I couldn't convince Emily.  She called me from her dad's house one weekend and said, "Christy has a Mickey Mouse costume from The Disney Store that fits Eddy and he loves it, they said you could borrow it, he looks really cute in it...is that okay?"  I said "sure" --- I didn't really care who he was, I just wanted him to be cute and I wanted it to cost me the least amount of money possible!  As it turns out, he was an adorable Mickey Mouse and the temperature of the evening and the weight of the costume was perfect!!!  Be warned though, I'm already thinking about next year, and that Indian costume will still fit!!!!!

Today (well, yesterday now), we celebrated Thanksgiving.  The past two Thanksgivings have not been "Happy" ones for me, but this year I was in the mood to give thanks!  Two years ago, the week of Thanksgiving, Wasband filed for divorce.  I was a basket case that year.  Last year, my children spent Thanksgiving with their dad, and I don't recall really feeling very thankful for much in my life.  This year, I am spending the entire Thanksgiving weekend with my three kids and my family (except for a few hours when they will be with Wasband and his family) and I am at a point in my life where I can see all that has changed, enjoy every moment of my life and look forward to my future and whatever it may bring.  I asked the kids to make a list of all they were thankful for and without any complaint at all, they did.  I made a list as well and we sat down before going to my Mom's house to spend the day with family and read them aloud to one another.  This is a tradition I intend to continue. I think it will be interesting to see how the lists mature...see for yourself.

Edison's list - 2010 - age 3-1/2

1. Jesus
2. Scooby
3. Shaggy
4. Velma
5. Daphne
6. Fred (from Scooby Doo, sorry Uncle Fred)
7. Mommy (that's me :-))
8. Jamie (my niece)
9. Nannie (my mother)
10. Poppy (Wasband's dad)
11. Meme (Wasband's mom)
12. Daddy (Wasband)
13. Christy (Wasband's wife)
14. Ally (step-sister)
15. Nick (step-brother)
16. Mickey (a dog at his Dad's house I think?)
17. Bella (a dog at his Dad's house)
18. Andy (a cat at his Dad's house, maybe?)
19. Cody (a dog at his Dad's house - or maybe at his Step-Mom's ex-husband's house, not sure...)
20. Aunt Lea (my sister)
21. Jeremy (my brother)
22. Cash (cousin - Jamie's son - see #8)
23. Kain (cousin - Jamie's son - see #8)
24. Papa (my Dad)
25. Freddy P (his Uncle - see #6)
26. Emma (his sister)
27. Kensley (his sister)
28. Isaac Clay (his friend)
29. Monster Ali (we think this is Ali Hulett, his cousin :-))
30. Jacob (not sure who this is)
31. snakes (cause he's a boy?)
32. bears (?)
33. Kayma (a friend who has not see in forever!)
34. sick (i have no clue what this means)
35. Cat in the Hat (this was a book laying on the couch)
36. Lisa (his baby sitter)
37. witches (i have no explanation for this...)

Kensley's list - 2010 - age 12

1. God
2. My family
3. Food
4. Friends
5. Warm homes
6. Good grandparents
7. My healthy body
8. My athletasism (her spelling)
9. My good grades
10. My baby brother
11. Cousins
12. My horse, dogs and cats
13. My dumplings (I guess she was hungry)
14. My life
15. Water

Emily's list - 2010 - age 17

1. My family
2. My friends
3. Being able to go to SCS (a private Christian school)
4. Edison
5. Plumbing
6. Electricity
7. Dish Network
8. WiFi
9. My awesome hair
10. My salvation (she had an arrow moving it to #1 and said she felt bad that she didn't list it as #1 after everybody else did)
11. Cell phone
12. Cars and gas
13. Education (wow! - did she really write that?)
14. Rules (do my eyes deceive me?)
15. My permit (she finally got her driver's permit!)
16. Heat & Air
17. Locks (this is my child who is frightened of everything, very typical of something she would be thankful for :-))
18. Make-up
19. Nicholas Sparks (yes, I introduced her to this wonderful author)
20. Dwayne Carter (a/k/a Lil' Wayne)

And finally...Dana's List - 2010 - age 39 and holding!

I am thankful for...

1. God, who sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die a horrible death on a cross, so that I can live eternally in heaven when I die.
2. My 3 children, Emily, Kensley and Edison
3. My Health, not only mine, but also my children's.  I'm also very thankful that my kids learn very easily and that they are smart kids.
4. My parents, my sister and my brother - for always being there for me.
5. My friends who always listen and even when they tell me things I don't want to hear.
6. Wasband - that he is a good dad to my children (yes, I wrote that! - it is very important to my kids that despite our differences, that they know that we both love them.  There are so many parents who just walk away after a divorce because it's "easier".  Neither of us will ever do that and for their sake, I am thankful)
7. my job - it is very rewarding and it pays the bills, allowing me to live in my own place and not having to move back in with my parents or share rent with someone else
8. the Swagger Wagon - for getting me where I need to be, even though it cramps my awesome style!
9. Technology because it makes life a little easier and it's fun!
10. for living in the USA - actually I'm thankful that God allowed me to be born in this free country and even though life is hard for me sometimes, that money is tight and things seem to move at an exhausting speed, that I am here and not somewhere else in this world.
11. Edison's biological parents, especially his birthmother, who made a difficult decision to place him for adoption.
12. for my nieces and nephews - Jamie, Jase, Maggie, Brea, Cash and Kain
13. my children's other set of grandparents - they are wonderful to my children and they help me with the kids when I need them.
14. good things that are happening at work :-)
15. some single people I've met :-) :-) (no! not HIM)

As I write this, a certain little boy is in his bed in the room across the hall, sleeping peacefully and my daughters are Black Friday shopping with my niece, Jamie.  We gave respect to the TURKEY today and spent some time reflecting on what we are truly thankful.  Now, it's time to move to the next holiday! So, sometime this weekend, I will pull the Christmas decorations from the building, put up the Christmas tree and decorate!  I want to take time this holiday season to reflect on the many blessings in my life and even when life gets hectic and stressful, try to focus on the good things.

Many blessings for a wonderful holiday season...

Time to Read

Okay, so it's been awhile since I posted.  I've been crazy busy with moving and unpacking.  I had a yard sale to get rid of some stuff I no longer wanted.  I've been sick and Edison and Kensley were sick.  I've still got lots of things to unpack but the boxes have been pushed to the corners to allow us to live comfortably.  I did go out during lunch today with my friend from work, Miss Maria.  Today, we went to....

Half Price Books.  I LOVE that store.  If you have never been to a Half Price Books bookstore, you must go!  They have tons of used books, dvds, games and even vinyl record albums if you're into that.  Today I was on a mission.  Recently I was talking to a friend and we were discussing DVDs we would like to have in our permanent collection.  I have a few already --- Grease, Forrest Gump, Top Gun, The Proposal --- and I have a mental list of others I want to obtain.  Rather than search and pay full price at Wal-Mart, I browsed the selection at Half-Price Books.  I found two that I wanted and I paid $4.98 for each of them.  The first was Fatal Attraction and the second was Steel Magnolias.  I can mark those two off my list - yay!

Next, I went to look at books.  Now this is a HUGE bookstore and it's arranged like any other "normal" bookstore.  It's not fancy like our beloved Joseph-Beth, located in Lexington, but you can do without the fanciness for the awesome prices!  For some reason, I always find myself perusing the Self-Help section - LOL!  My preacher, Bro. Kaywood Morris, reminds his congregation frequently, that no Self-Help book, other than the Holy Bible, is gonna help you.  He also tells us that nothing Oprah or Dr. Phil have to say can help us either.  We have to read the Bible, pray and listen to God speak.  I agree wholeheartedly, Bro. Kaywood, but I just can't help myself --- I'm addicted to self-help books.

Looking at book titles alone is amusing and a good source of therapy.  For instance, I took a look at the Relationship books and realized I didn't need any of those titles!

• Life After Divorce - I'm living it.  
• Split: A Memoir of Divorce - I'll read my journal. 
• Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat - too late, I should have read that about 4 years ago.  
• Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life - again, too late.
• Ultimate Betrayal: Recognizing, Uncovering and Dealing with Infidelity - still dealing but I don't need this book.
• How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce - uhhhh?  Not gonna need this one.
• How to Mend a Broken Heart - it just takes time...

Once I realized I was past this, I looked over at the next section --- "Sex Studies".  These just made me laugh out loud.

• Sexuality Today - has it changed from yesterday? 
• Sexual Life in Ancient India - I'm still wondering how much has changed...
• Sex Matters - well, duh!
• Sex With the Queen - really, there was a study on this?
• My Parents Never Had Sex - mine did, three times.
• I'm Not in the Mood - well, I am :-)
• Hot and Bothered - maybe this one was in the wrong sextion section.
• What's Love Got to Do With It? - good question
• Women On Top - really, there was a study on this?

Next, I moved to the "Love and Dating" section, cause' I am ready for that.  I saw lots of interesting titled books, including:

• Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - I already have that one, actually bought it as a newlywed - hahaha
• Why Mars and Venus Collide -yeah, prolly should have followed up with that one years ago...
• What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know - bwahahaha
• Find a Husband After 35 - they write books about this? I'm in trouble...remember I'm in the self-help section...
• The Joy of Text - now that, my friend, could be an interesting read.
• Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man - I'm pretty good at this, I had several years practice.
• Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find - again, bwahahahaha
• Loving a Younger Man - oooo, how do I do this?  I'm curious! 
• Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid -yeah, and?????
• Sex Begins in the Kitchen - so that might be a problem, I HATE the kitchen...
• No More Lonely Nights - as of when????
• Falling in Love Again - I'm gonna try not to "fall" this time...

So then I moved to another shelf and I found this book. 

but I didn't buy it either, cause I'm not 40.  I'm 39 years and 10 months.

I think I like it...

There are lots of things this single girl has learned to do since becoming single. Oh, sure, there were many things I knew HOW to do, I just chose NOT to do them - haha. Some things, I have ALWAYS done but now that I'm single, there are lots of things I HAVE to do.

For example: I cook for myself and my children, I have to wash all of our laundry, I have to wash all of the dishes because the only dishwasher I have are the two at the ends of my arms. I fill up my car with gas, I make sure all of the fluid levels are correct, I check the oil and the tire pressure regularly and keep track of when the oil needs changing and the tires need rotated. I set my alarm to get up for work, get Edison ready for the sitter and make sure Kensley is up for school on the days she is here. I add 20 miles to my 50 minute commute to take Kensley to school, drop Edison off at the sitter and then head to work. I work an 8 hour day and then the 60 minutes it takes to get home! I pick up Edison, come home, cook supper, clean up, wash a load of laundry. On soccer nights, I pick up Edison, come home, grab snacks, take Kensley to practice, chase Edison around for an hour and a half while Kensley practices soccer, come home and cook supper. Sometimes I clean up and other times I wait until the next night to clean up after dinner. I try to throw one load of laundry in each night (or at least every other night) - wash, dry, fold and put away. On weekends, I grocery shop, attend soccer games, change the sheets on the beds and attempt to find time to dust, sweep, mop and clean the bathrooms. I also have to sack up the garbage and try to remember to take it to the curb once a week. I'm also solely responsible for paying my bills, balancing my checkbook, and taking care of household issues. Between all of this, I still find time to read and play with Edison each night and spend some time on Facebook. Thank goodness for my dad who comes to mow and trim my yard because I have no clue when I could ever squeeze that chore into my day!!

I have wonderful parents who help me in a crunch and ex-in-laws who are helpful with the kids when I ask. Weekends with the kids are a whirlwind of activity. I have a 16 year old with a social agenda, a 12 year old with a soccer schedule and a social agenda, and a 3 year old who acts like a totally different child when his sisters are here than when it's just me and him. On the weekends when the kids are with Wasband, I look forward to time alone with no one to wait on but myself. At first, I felt it was very important that I try to be out and about, meeting people and staying busy, but lately I find myself wanting to spend time alone. It's nice to stay at my house, alone, eating pizza and watching movies or football while sitting on my comfy couch. I use those three days to try to regain the energy I have expended over the past 10 to be able to make it through the next 10 days where it will all start again.

Who has time for going out? Not Dana. Who has time for dating? Not Dana. Who is enjoying her time alone, just learning who she is? Dana! I got married at age 18 to a boy I met when I was 16. I never knew who Dana was. Most of the decisions I made were not made by me, they were heavily influenced by others. You know what? I'm making my own decisions now. I'm doing my own thing. I enjoy some assistance occasionally and yes, I sometimes complain that I have to do it all, but bare with me - I've gone through some major changes recently - I've never been this independent - I never HAD to be! And the best part about it? I'm happier than I have been in MANY, MANY years. I'm enjoying the freedom I have of not having to answer to anyone, doing what I want to do when I want to do it (well except for the things dictated by my children's schedule). Is it easy? No, it's not! Can I do it? I've proved I can :-) and the best thing? The fact that I hardly ever get a chance to sit down, that I spend a lot of time chasing my son, running with my girls and always doing stuff that needs to be done around the house has helped me lose close to 50 lbs! Yeah, I can handle this, but can this world handle the new me? We shall see :-)

I HATE MOVING!

When I was a little girl, we moved a lot - not as much as a military family, but probably pretty close. Being that I didn't like change as a little girl, this could have been traumatic, but we always stayed in the same school district and most of the time, we even kept the same bus driver. That actually became a joke between my brother and I. Mom and Dad would tell us we were moving and we had two questions, "Where are we moving?" and "Will Jim still be our bus driver?"

When Wasband and I were first married, I told him that it was important to me that when we had kids that we settle down into a home that would always be "their home". I wanted them to have the same bedroom from the time they remembered until they got married. This was something I didn't have and always wanted. I just thought it would be cool for our grandkids to sleep and play in the same rooms their mothers had.

Let me go ahead and clarify. I don't think I missed out on anything by not having this. My parents' home has always been inviting and comfortable to me regardless of the "house" they lived in. I probably feel most comfortable in the home they live in now - maybe because this is where they have provided some much needed comfort to me over the past two years or maybe it's because I know that they have finally "settled". I'm not sure...

Wasband and I started out in a little two bedroom house on a dead end street paying $200/month. We were there for one year. We then moved to a big farm house out in the country and stayed there for a year. After that, we "grew up" and ventured into the BIG City of Lexington! We rented a one-bedroom apartment until we were finally able to put a down payment on our first home. I loved that little house. Our first "home". It was a small, three bedroom, one bath, brick with hardwood floors througout. The perfect starter home. Emily was born while we lived there and we stayed until she was three years old.

The week before her 3rd birthday, we moved to the house I thought we would live in FOREVER. We moved back to Garrard County to be close to family and friends. We spent a lot of time over here anyway and decided that when Emily started to school, we wanted her to go to the same schools Wasband and I had gone. We bought a 4 bedroom, 2 bath brick ranch on 4 acres. We planned to have at least one more child, to raise our children, build a small barn, buy a horse or two, eventually retire and play with our grandchildren in the same place.

Well, that lasted for several years and then the D-I-V-O-R-C-E happened...

Since then, I have moved more times than I have wanted. First, I HATE to move. It's hard work, it's time consuming and it costs money. When I moved out of our marital home, I moved to an adorable little house that had come available. It was perfect for our situation - well, except for the fact that two girls who had never had to share hardly anything in their lives were suddenly put together in a small bedroom! I stayed there until another house came open that belonged to my aunt and uncle. They offered me a great deal on the rent to allow me to get "back on my feet". The decreased rent was wonderful, but unfortunately, the heat bills were astronomical and I really wasn't able to save money the way I had hoped. So here I am, taking a break from the dreaded task of PACKING, and getting ready to move again!

When I moved from the first post-divorce home to the current home, I made the comment, "I am not moving again until some rich man comes and moves me out." Well, a rich man is moving me out. I call him the propane gas man! I guess if I make this statement again, I made need to clarify...

I'm excited about my new little house. It's a very cute white framed house with black shutters. It has a swing on the tree in the front yard that Edison LOVES. That same swing scares my mom to death because she thinks it's too close to the road. The back yard is fenced in so he's probably going to need a swing set out back to keep him out of the tree! The house has new windows and a new heating and air unit so it should be very economical --- a BIG issue for me right now. The people I will be renting from are super-sweet and have done lots of things to get it ready for me and the kids - including allowing me to pick new paint colors!!!

Now, if I had a fairy godmother who could wave her magic wand and pack everything neatly into boxes, go through the things I don't need and set them aside for the yard sale I'm planning, take apart the beds, load everything onto trucks and unpack it and place everthing exactly where I wanted it, life would be good! But I know that is not going to happen. I might mention though, that my own mother is pretty close to a fairy godmother. She came to my house while I was working today, straightened my house a little, did some laundry and packed my china :-) She's as close to a fairy godmother as I'm gonna get. I just wish she had a magic wand so she didn't have to work so hard!

This will be the 3rd time I've moved the week of Emily's birthday, the 2nd time in two years. Hopefully, this time, we can settle for at least a few years. I want this house to feel like home to my children. I want them to feel safe and comfortable because I don't think they have truly felt that with ME since the divorce. Kensley is excited - she's getting a purple room :-) Edison is getting a big boy bed and Emily will share sleeping quarters with him when she comes to visit every other weekend. The one downfall is that it only has one bathroom, which will be tough for 2-3 girls to share, but we can do this!

I'm only moving 2.2 miles, but that will still require spending the rest of this week packing, moving this weekend and then unpacking. Have I mentioned that I HATE MOVING? I know I will have to do it again because I can't stay in this new place forever, but maybe, just maybe, this is the 2nd to last time that I will EVER have to move again!

I Can Do It All By Myself - My Adoption Story

I started working at A Helping Hand Adoption Agency the first week of May, 2007. On May 2, 2007, a little boy weighing a little over 5 lbs. was born in Guatemala. The following week, I was sitting in my office when I heard Maria, one of the Guatemala advocates begin praying out loud saying, "Dear Lord, thank you for these two precious baby boys, these two referrals we have received from Guatemala, we ask your blessing on these two little boys and ask that you please help us find families for them. In Your name, AMEN." Another girl in the office and I asked about them. She said, we got two referrals of little boys who were born last week and we have no families who are ready to accept them.

FAST FORWARD to September. It was brought up in the office that A Helping Hand still had a little boy who was available but who was now being overlooked because families wanted newborns. I went to Philip's office, another Guatemala advocate who had just begun the process of adopting a little girl himself, started asking questions about adopting from Guatemala and asked if I could see the referral information. He gave me the information I needed and told me where I could find the medical information and pictures in the database. I quickly sat at my computer to take a peek at the file of Eddy Alejandro Godinez-Sazo and I immediately knew that this little boy was supposed to be my son. I just needed to convince my husband.

I still have the e-mails we sent back and forth to one another. I remember many conversations we had about adoption, this little boy in particular and the financial aspects. I knew I had said all I could say and it would be my husband's final decision. I finally told him, "You know how I feel about this little boy, I want him to be our son, but if you do not want to do this, then I understand. I promise you I will not bring it up again" and I knew that as hard as that was going to be, that would be what I would have to do. I was beginning to think that I was going to have to let go of my dream of adoption while at the same time feeling that God had put me at AHH for the purpose of finding this little boy. Two days later, Husband came and said, "What do we have to do to make that little boy ours?" My mouth dropped open and I jumped out of the chair and gave him the biggest hug EVER!

On September 11, 2007, we filed our Application to Adopt. On September 14, 2007, we filed our initial paperwork with the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service and were on our way to making this little boy OURS! After months of paperchasing, completing a home study, having physicals, fingerprints, criminal record checks, waiting on DNA testing, stressing through Guatemala's decision to close adoptions and trying to get through PGN, waiting for a Guatemalan birth certificate, and then waiting on the U.S. Embassy, we finally received all of the approvals we needed from the U.S. and Guatemala to bring this little boy home. One year and one day later, on September 12, 2008, we raced Hurricane Ike to the Texas border and arrived at our old Kentucky home with our new son - Edison Alejandro Underwood!

If you want to read more about our adoption journey, written as it happened two years ago, please visit my old blog: To Eden for Edison http://www.toedenforedison.blogspot.com

The first few paragraphs and my initial blog are the wonderful parts of Edison's adoption story from my perspective. Unfortunately, a turn of events took place during the adoption and once we returned home and our lives took a totally different path than what I dreamed. My story doesn't end with "and the five of them lived happily ever after." Actually, a nightmare began for me when we were in the middle of the process and continued non-stop. Now, two years after Edison joined our family, I feel I am finally recovering and can move on with my life.

WARNING: Some readers may not want to read the rest of this story. These are the facts as I interpret them and most people will agree it is what happened. Not everyone who was involved will agree but I still say facts are facts. I can try to leave opinions out but I cannot tell this story without my feelings. When it was all said and done, it is another confirmation to me that God indeed had a plan for ME through Edison's adoption...and I know I was a part of His plan for Edison.

Soon after we started the adoption process, something changed in my husband's demeanor. He was no longer affectionate and loving toward me as he had been in our 21 years together. I kept asking him what was wrong and he would say "I'm just tired." I thought he was depressed, kind of facing a mid-life crisis, because he was turning 40. I tried to cheer him up by surprising him with two tickets to watch the Indianapolis Colts play on his birthday in November. The trip was a disaster - I just didn't realize what was going on yet. At the end of November, I made a bi-lingual book on Shutterfly to mail to Edison's foster mom so she could begin introducing him to his new family. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get Husband to smile for any of the pictures. I began to worry that he was having second thoughts and didn't want to go through the adoption. He assured me that was not it.

In February, we took our daughters on a mission trip to Guatemala. Part of the week we spent doing mission work and the end of the week we spent meeting Edison. Husband was very cool toward me the entire week but he was working hard and I chalked it up to him "being tired." I have video and pictures of when he first met Edison that haunt me and everyone else who looks at them. I think a link to the video can be found on my previous blog linked above. I later learned that many people started expressing their concern when they saw the video that Husband was not "into" the adoption. At the end of March, Husband told me he wasn't happy and he thought we needed to separate. My first question was "what about Edison?" and I will NEVER, EVER forget the words he said to me. He said, "I don't think we need to bring him into this." I glared at him and through clenched teeth I said something similar to... "That little boy is my son. Guatemalan adoptions are closed. If we don't bring him home, he will end up living on the streets, shining shoes or selling necklaces to put food in his belly! If you can live with that, then you go ahead and leave!" He left on the weekend of our 19th wedding anniversary.

I will never forget that Sunday morning. The girls had stayed with grandparents because I was trying to plan a getaway for our anniversary. As he walked out the front door, I collapsed into our bedroom floor wailing and crying, begging him not to leave. I had a million thoughts swirling through my mind concerning my marriage, my love for this man, my hurt, our two biological daughters, and one precious little boy who we had met in February who I already considered our son. After several minutes, I pulled myself off the floor and reached for the telephone. I called my friend Sharon and asked her to go to church to get my mom out of Sunday school and tell her I needed her to come help me - NOW!

We had friends and family rally around us. Husband came home that afternoon but would not talk. He left again that evening, this time with both of our daughters sobbing. He returned home the next day, we read letters we had written to each other and we had a long heart to heart talk. We made new promises to each other and he said he was coming home, that we would work this out. I made changes and he did too. Things seemed good through all of April and into May. I stayed quiet and never mentioned a word of the marital problems to our social worker as I knew it could disrupt the adoption proceedings. By the end of May, Husband became distant again. I suspected there was someone else in his life, he repeatedly denied it and I could not confirm it until one day I received a text message that he intended to send to the "someone else". I knew as soon as I read it that it was not intended for me. I immediately called him and he denied it. By the time I got home from work and confronted him, he finally admitted it. I honestly cannot tell you when I received this text but I think it was within a few weeks after I returned to work after Edison came home. I know that I was both devastated to find out and relieved to finally confirm that my intuition was correct!

From that point, I don't know what happened or how I made it through the first weeks and months Edison was home. I know that I tried to do absolutely everything for Edison because Husband had told me he was afraid that the "novelty" of adopting him would wear off and he and our oldest daughter would end up "raising him". I fed him, bathed him, rocked him, read to him, and played with him. I met all of his needs. The only thing Husband did was hold him until he fell asleep at night and that became his excuse for sleeping on the couch.

Lots of stuff happened during those months that are not part of this adoption story. They are part of my divorce story. I was at my wit's end and I did something that put the nail in the coffin so to speak. I went to try to talk to Husband's parents. My mother went with me for moral support and Husband showed up too. My mom said that if she hadn't been there to personally see for herself what I experienced, that she would have never believed that I would have been treated the way I was treated. I went there to ask them for their help to try to save my marriage. I wanted to tell them that their son was having an affair, but I didn't. I tried to lay my heart out to them, I even had notes with me, I tried to tell them that I was doing all I could to save my marriage and it was falling on deaf ears. Husband's dad never said a word but his mom got angry with me and she kept repeating over and over, "He has not been happy for a long time, I just want him to be happy." (I'll blog about "happiness" at a later time)

I left that night and took the kids with me to my mom and dad's house but Edison wouldn't go to sleep and the girl's couldn't go to sleep. I loaded them up late that night and we went back home. On Monday morning of Thanksgiving week, we had an appointment to get Edison's name changed from Eddy Alejandro to Edison Alejandro, a name Husband and I had chosen together. We went to court in the pouring rain and took care of that. I ran to the car and was drenched. Husband buckled Edison into his car seat and then knocked on my window. I rolled the window down and he had a file folder in his hand, he said, "I'm going back in to file divorce papers." Again, I was devastated. How TACKY --- and that's all I'm going to say about that...no, actually it's not! Our son will see the date on this important paper changing his name. This is a court paper that he will need to use a few times during his life. It will not take much for him to realize that his dad filed for divorce from his mom on the SAME day, just two months after he arrived home. He could have filed for divorce the next day or the next week, he didn't have to file on such an important day in Edison's history! Thanksgiving was sad and difficult.

I remained in the house and so did he. I wanted Edison to have ONE Christmas with his whole family together. I didn't want to uproot my children and I didn't have the money it would take to establish a new residence. He didn't want to leave for fear of it appearing that he was abandoning his kids. It was a stressful time for all of us. All I could do was cry. He wouldn't talk. The girls were quiet and visibly upset. Edison was transitioning through so many things. He was learning a new language, adjusting to new foods, new smells, people who looked different, a new home, becoming part of what was supposed to be a "forever" family. Financially, I was finally able to move out on New Year's Eve. Our divorce was final the week before Valentine's Day and Husband became Wasband. He married the "someone else" less than 7 months later on Labor Day weekend. (See a pattern of holiday's here? He's so unoriginal - LOL)

I tell you all of this craziness to let you know that God had a plan, even in all of this mess. I know that I have not seen His entire plan come full circle and I may never. I know this much...God knew that Edison needed a family and although it's not the best option, I believe in his case that a split family is definitely better than no family at all. God knew that I needed Edison. My daughters were the ages of 10 and 14 at the time we separated. While they will always "need" their mother, they did not "need" me to bathe, feed or clothe them. When we first separated, the girls split their time equally between Wasband and myself by spending one week with me and then one week with him. If I had not had Edison in my life during that time, I feel certain I would have crawled into a fetal position on those weeks without them and slipped into a depressive state that would have been difficult to recover. The thing is...I had Edison, a little boy, less than two years old, who needed me to feed him, bathe him, clothe him, care for him. He needed love, hugs and kisses.

Edison is very aware of human emotions and I think that is because of his own life experiences. I would sometimes sit on the couch, watching tv when the girls were with their dad, and just start crying. He couldn't talk, but he would crawl up on the couch and stand next to me and rub my arm or my hair. He would lay his head in my lap and force me to look at him and would smile the biggest smile in the world! He gave me a reason to smile and he made me laugh when I had nothing to laugh about. He loved me unconditionally! Just today, I was laying on the bed reading with him and out of the blue he asked me if I was happy. I smiled and said, "yes, Edison, Mommy is happy" and he said, "I like you to be happy." He is the most compassionate 3 year old boy you will ever meet. I hate the circumstances he came into and I hate that he had to adjust to so much in the 1st year he was home, but I know these experiences shaped him into the toddler he is and will play a major role in the boy and man he will become.

I had an elderly aunt ask my mother if I "intended to send him back" since Wasband had left. My mom laughed and said, "no, she's not gonna send him back." I want Edison to know that I fought like HELL to make sure he became MY SON and he doesn't know it now, but he gave me the energy to fight to survive the most horrible thing I have experienced in my life to date! I never once thought of ending my life because I have always had too much to live for with my wonderful family and beautiful daughters, but Edison forced me to keep going, to not give up, to not roll up and accept defeat - I fought and because of that, I have learned that I am a very strong woman and an extremely capable single mom.

This isn't the typical adoption story. It's not the story I want to tell but it's the story God has written for me. Edison's family tree will have roots, branches and extra limbs. He has biological parents, biological siblings, adoptive parents, adoptive sisters, a stepparent and step-siblings and he is going to be okay! Most of all, he has a mother who absolutely adores him, who spoils him and who will try to make sure that through all of the emotional trauma and confusion he has experienced in his young life, that he will grow up to be a wonderful, caring and compassionate man --- who can play soccer, football and baseball like no other little boy who has ever been raised by a single mom :-)

P.S. The novelty hasn't worn off - I DO IT ALL with very little help!

Arrogant, Demanding Lawyers!

I graduated from Eastern Kentucky University in May, 2007, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Child and Family Studies. I had a blast going back to college in my mid-30s. I met some wonderful, fun, young people who have become very good friends. I helped them with projects and they helped me escape for a few hours each day. In a way I was sad to leave my "young" friends I had made and at the same time, I was excited to finally be working in a field I enjoyed.

Rewind to 1988 - I had graduated from high school and knew I needed to go to college - I wanted to go to college. Actually, I had always wanted to be a teacher, but I was also ready to get a job, make money, buy a car and get married. The option I chose was a degree I could finish in two years. The degree I chose was probably the biggest mistake I have made in my life. I chose this field because my boyfriend, who later became my husband, who is now my Wasband, had a cousin who had gone to school to become a Paralegal. She had graduated a few years prior and was making "big" money and loving her job. Okay, it was settled - EKU was close to home and they offered a two year degree program in Paralegal Studies. Decision made!

I skirted through those two years of college - made mostly C's - took most of my classes around my soap opera schedule, saw the boyfriend as much as I possibly could - got married during Spring Break my first year and graduated in August of 1990. School was okay, learning to be a paralegal was okay, actually working for lawyers --- not okay! The majority of lawyers for whom I have worked have been arrogant, demanding and major procrastinators! The job took many hours from my day and added lots of stress and sleepless nights. Now, not ALL lawyers that I worked for acted this way and I'm not saying that EVERY lawyer has these qualities, but in my experience, more were like this than were not.

Even though I was young, I was good at what I did! Nothing gave me more of a high than to be reading someone's medical records from 20 years earlier only to discover that they had seen a doctor for a back injury but failed to mention they had ever had a back injury in the past but were now trying to bleed some poor person's insurance dry for a settlement because of a back injury they alleged to have received in a recent minor car collision. Although I enjoyed finding the "dirt" when I worked as an insurance defense paralegal, I was sympathetic when I worked for the Plaintiff. There are lots of people who have legitimate claims for injuries and a right to draw disability benefits and I worked hard to help them get what they deserved. My favorite part of the job was listening to the clients and trying to encourage them through the drawn out process while they struggled through their pain and money loss and as they tried to hold out for a settlement. I liked my jobs - I didn't like the stress of deadlines or the arrogant people for whom I worked, however, I suffered through 10 years promising to stick with it until my student loan was paid in full.

Once my student loan was paid in full, I took some different jobs - I took part-time paralegal jobs, I worked as a Kindergarten Assistant, I worked as a Victim's Advocate and finally got the opportunity to go back to school to major in what I loved most - family dynamics! I loved learning all about children and families and family interactions. I enjoyed learning about family stress and resilience, child development, communication, psychology, diversity, marriages, sexuality, families, etc. Two weeks from graduation, in May of 2007, I accepted a position as an adoption caseworker with A Helping Hand Adoption Agency. I was going to work in the adoption field - an area that many social work majors and child and family studies majors dream of. I had landed a dream job. Not only did I begin learning all about the adoption process, 4 months later, I began my own adoption process...that story will follow in a few days...

Journey to Mya Grace

I have one of the absolute best jobs in the world! This weekend confirmed it. Don't get me wrong --- I complain about the pay, the lack of benefits and sometimes, the hours, but I got a brand new perspective this weekend.

On Saturday evening, I took my three children with me to Bluegrass Field to welcome the Morris family home. Kaywood and Debbie Morris, along with their son, Dalton, left Lexington, Kentucky a little over two weeks ago to take a life changing trip to The People's Republic of China. Yesterday, they were all smiles as they came down the escalator holding their beautiful daughter from China, a family of four, a family complete!

I have known Kaywood and Debbie since high school and I'm very close to Debbie's sister, Susan, as we cheered together years ago for the Garrard County Golden Lions. Susan was so anxious on Saturday night to be reunited with her family. She missed her sister, her nephew and her brother-in-law terribly while they were gone and she was super excited to meet her new niece. I was having a wonderful time taking pictures for Susan and I enjoyed watching their hugs, tears, reunion and meeting.

Once Mya Grace had been properly introduced to all of her aunts, uncles, cousins and grandfather, I did something that I did not intend to do. I wanted to meet Miss Mya Grace, but I planned only to rub her arms and her back and using my softest, most soothing "baby-talk" voice, to say "Hi, Mya! It is so nice to finally meet you." I couldn't. Going against all advice I give as a Parent Education Coordinator for adoptive families, I took her out of another person's arms, and held her. She looked directly into my eyes and I looked directly into hers and I began to cry. I was completely overwhelmed by the emotions I had for this 19 month old Chinese angel.

The eyes I was looking into, were the same eyes that had looked at me from a photo almost a year ago. Through my work as Special Needs Coordinator for A Helping Hand Adoption Agency, I look at many children each month who are placed on a shared list by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA). The majority of these children are little girls and all of the children added to this list have a special medical need. Some of the children have minor needs and others have multiple and/or severe needs. ALL of these children need homes - all of these children deserve to be loved by a family.

Last summer, the Morris family contacted me and began asking lots of questions about adoption. By December, their home study was complete and they were ready to begin searching for a child. About the same time, I saw a little girl on the list who caught my eye with one of the sweetest faces I had ever seen and believe me, I see a lot of sweet faces. By the beginning of 2010, Debbie and Kaywood were finishing up their paperwork to make this sweet baby girl part of their forever family - this little girl would be their Mya Grace. Fast forward through the difficult months of waiting and they finally arrived home last night to begin their life at home together.

My job is not always wonderful. I work with families through the frustrating paperchase, I encourage them through the difficult waiting phase, I sometimes have to give bad news to families and occasionally help them through a grieving process. Personally, it's sometimes difficult to look at hundreds of files of children with severe disfigurements and disabilities. Looking at children, knowing they will NEVER have a forever family either because they will not live long enough to be united with a family, will age out of the system before their family can be found, or they have too severe of a special need to be adopted by a family. I realized long ago that I cannot get attached to these children. I cannot look into their eyes, because looking into their eyes, takes me into their soul. I know it is not possible for me to find families for all of these children but I know God has blessed me to become part of an important ministry placing as many as possible.

In my heart, I know that God is ultimately in control of placing families together. He knows which children will be placed on the CCAA's list in any given month. He knows which families are paper-ready to be matched. He knows the who, what, when, where and why and He uses me and our agency as a tool to put these families together. Sometimes the match doesn't work out but even then, I know God has a plan. I have told families before who have had to decline a referral for whatever reason that I don't know why God put a child into their path but that He has a plan in all situations. Many times, I believe it is God's plan that the family know a particular child exists in China. Knowing the child exists opens up the ability to pray personally for that child. To have others pray for that child - families, churches, communities. That particular child can be lifted up to God by his or her Chinese name. The child may have never been prayed for before, but now can be. Knowing there are hundreds and hundreds of orphaned children in China, families sometimes learn of one child who lives in a particular orphanage in one of the many provinces in China. They learn the specific needs of that child - physical, mental, emotional, financial and spiritual needs. They can lift this child up to God and make a personal request on behalf of this child. That has to mean something!

Mya Grace Morris is one of those children whose eyes I did look into - God wanted me to see something in her soul. God knew Mya Grace while He knitted her in her biological mother's womb. He knew that Kaywood and Debbie Morris would raise her as their own daughter. He coordinated Mya's file being placed on the shared list around the same time that Kaywood and Debbie were paper-ready to be matched. The first time I saw Mya's sweet face, I immediately thought of Debbie and Kaywood Morris. It was no coincidence. God orchestrated that! That's how He works and it is amazing when you can stand back and see how all things work to the Glory of God!

I've met several of the children whom I have had a role in placing with families but this is the first time that I have seen it all come full circle. From the beginning thinking about it stage, through all the paperwork and waiting, to finally arriving home, has been an eye opening experience. From looking into the eyes on a computer screen to actually holding, hugging, touching, and finally making real eye contact with the same baby, has truly been an amazing journey - one that has made me realize one of the many purposes I have on this Earth.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of the Journey to Mya Grace :-)



**** NOTE: I am an adoptive mommy myself and I have my own adoption testimony that I will share soon. This was a different experience - a different perspective - one I wanted to share.

Teaching a Boy to Pee is like...

Potty training a boy, I have always heard, is more difficult than potty training a girl. Let me confirm that statement. Let me also add to it - Potty training a boy without the help of a dad is extremely difficult! There are things I cannot teach my son. Equipment I do not have! There are things I never dreamed one would even have to teach another, but it seems not all things natural are learned, they must be taught.

Emily and Kensley were both completely potty trained by the age of 2-1/2. As I recall they were both very easily potty trained, with the task completed within a weekend. I told them they were going to start wearing panties, we went out and bought cute little pink ones with Barbie on them and they started wearing them around the clock! I'm sure there were a few accidents but I only recall one of Emily's which took place while she and I were standing on a pier in Myrtle Beach. EASY, BREEZY!!!

Edison turned 2-1/2 in the winter and I decided to wait until Spring. All who have potty trained know that it is much easier to clean up an accident that involves only shorts and flip flops rather than long pants, underwear, socks and tennis shoes! Edison turned 3 in May, we started the process, he wasn't interested at all, we stopped. In fact, throughout the Spring, when I would mention big boy underwear, he told me quite a few times, "Mom, I'm a wittle baby, I need to wear diapers." As much as I would like him to remain my "wittle baby", the fact is, I hate changing diapers and even more than that, I hate to spend my money on them!!!

This potty training session with Edison has not been a weekend task as it was for Emily and Kensley. This has taken me ALL SUMMER!!! But today, I can proudly tell each of you that my son wears big boy underwear every day, all day long, even during naps, and he stays dry! I still put a pull-up on him at night, however, he stays dry almost every single night, so as soon as we run out of pull-ups (which I am using multiple times since they are staying dry), he will begin wearing big boy underwear at night time as well.

Now back to the things I have had to teach my son which have not been easy during this summer-long ordeal:

1. Aim! One day, we pulled into the driveway and Edison said, "I want to pee in the grass." He's a boy! He loves to pee outside in the grass. I got him out of his car seat, pulled his pants down and stood him over on the side of the driveway. He seemed to have everything under control, he was peeing on the grass. I turned around to get things out of the van while he finished up. I collected my belongings and when I turned back around (less than 15 seconds later) I find that he has peed on the grass, the concrete, two different rocks sitting on the concrete, on each shoe, down each leg, into his underwear and onto his shorts! "Edison, WHAT are you doing?" He looked at me (like DUH!) and asked, "Peeing?" I pulled his shoes off, pulled his shorts and underwear off, got the wipes out of the car and wiped off his legs and we walked into the house (he was butt naked!). As I walked through the house, I threw his clothes in the washer, his flip flops in the sink and took him straight to the bathtub! From now on, if you visit my house and see Fruit Loops in the bathroom? Just know that is what we use for target practice!
2. Tuck! Edison had to go to the bathroom one Sunday during Church. This visit to the potty required sitting as he needed to poop. I sat him on the toilet and then turned to check my own hair and make-up in the mirror. I turned around and saw that he had a lap full of pee! So much pee in his lap that it was filling his belly button! I'm not kidding and yes, it was soaking into his nicely ironed polo shirt! I immediately spread his legs apart to let his "sink drain" and said "You need to point THAT down there when you pee, Little Man!" He just looked at me like he was clueless. Once again, I'm grabbing paper towels and soap to give him a quick bath so we can return to church. While everyone else was out in the sanctuary singing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus", I was in the bathroom teaching a little boy what to do when he can't stand up to do his business!
3. Hands Out of the Flow! Yes, I know it is necessary that the hands be used to help aim or to help tuck, but there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that the other hand should ever pass in front of the flow of urine! And if you are a curious little boy and want to do just that, PLEASE PLEASE, when your hand is dripping wet with pee, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT rub it in your hair!!! That is exactly what happened last night. He had to sit, he remembered to tuck, but then he felt the need to pee on his hand. I was in the same stall with him and before I could grap the toilet paper to dry off his hand, he dried it himself, in his HAIR!!!! I'm not kidding! These are the things boys do! I assure you that if either of my girls had EVER peed on their hands, they would have started crying, holding their hand out all limp and dripping, saying "ooooo, my hand's wet, get it off, get it off!" Rest assured, girls would never wipe it in their hair!!!

I'm learning to raise a boy! It's not an easy task! The other day I made the comment that men are pigs. Edison asked, "I'm a pig, Mom?" and I said, "No, honey, Mommy will make sure you are never a PIG!" Oh, he might get dirty, he might look and smell like a pig at times, heck, he might even follow in Wasband's footsteps and become a pig, uh... I mean police officer, but he will know how to treat a woman. One of my goals as his mother is to make sure that the name Edison Underwood and Male Chauvenistic Pig, are never used together in the same sentence (other than the one you just read)! I am also going to do my best to make sure he knows how to properly aim and that he remembers to lower the toilet seat after raising it. Some daughter-in-law will thank me for it one day :-)

For M Kat With Love

Tonight was one of those kid free Friday nights that I get every other weekend. Because of the week I have had, I welcomed an evening of taking care of only myself. Many weekends I hate the fact that I have to "share" my children, however, I try to enjoy the time I have alone and right now, I need some down time. The problem is that I have to weigh the alone time with keeping myself busy in order to keep the sadness and feelings of depression at bay.

Tonight was one of those nights where I didn't really want to do anything but I knew it would be a bad decision to sit home alone. I must admit the thoughts of coming coming home and snuggling in front of the tv to watch Season 1 of The Sopranos seemed inviting, as I have already watched Episodes 1,2 and 3 and seem to be hooked. I had a few options and decided that I really wanted to watch our high school football team play ball. The problem was that I didn't want to walk into the game alone. I talked one of my very best friends into going to the game with me tonight. Her sweet daughter, whom I will call M Kat, accompanied us.

On our way to the game, M Kat's mom and I were discussing my blog and M Kat informed me that she wanted a post written for her. I told her I would see what I could come up with but I felt like my youngest daughter, Kensley, would probably get the next post, since Emily had already had one dedicated to her. Of course, M Kat's request stayed in my mind and I admit that I thought about "her" post the whole evening we were together. That's how I write --- an idea comes along and then my brain begins formulating everything that happens or has happened in the past into a story. (Now if I could come up with a major plot which would formulate itself into a novel, I would be one happy girl! Believe me, I've tried, and I can't do it.)

I watched and listened to everything M Kat did and said while we were together tonight. I made a comment to her mom when she came walking across the wet dewy grass in her sock feet and laughed when I watched her struggle to get her shoes back on. I watched her walk around with her friends and play touch football with a co-ed group of middle schoolers. I complimented the adorable t-shirt she wore supporting her school and watched her reaction when I hid something from her that she wanted to see.

M Kat is one of the smartest young girls that I know. She is wise beyond her years and very inquisitive. M Kat recently allowed me to borrow the entire Twilight series of novels. Granted, she let me know up front that she had spent her "own" money on the series and wanted to receive them back in the same condition she lent them to me. As I read each book, being extremely cautious not to bend the pages or spill my drink on them, I kept thinking how intelligent she must be to have been able to follow them at such a young age. In addition to some difficult words in the books, the plot spins off into different directions. I sometimes had to stop reading and think about what was actually going on, so I was very impressed that she read, understood and thoroughly enjoyed the entire series. Each novel, I might add, is very thick and they are not the most easy reads!

M Kat informed her mother and I on our way to the game that she intended to be picky when it came to boys. I told her that is the way she needs to be! I shared with her my motto, "Better than nothing is not good enough!" She agreed with me and said she would not "settle"! Thatta girl M Kat!! Just please keep that in mind when your hormones kick in :-) There is no doubt in my mind that this young lady will grow into a very strong woman, similar to her own mother. She is going to let you know where she stands on an issue, will not let anyone walk over her or take advantage of her, and will fiercely protect the things that are important to her. She will also be kind, compassionate and willing to share. She already exhibits these characteristics and I feel sure, that with the excellent parenting skills of her wonderful mom and dad, she will continue down a path of success!

M Kat helps keep me in check too. She likes to play with my iPhone and check out all the latest games I have downloaded. I enjoy sharing my latest fun finds with her. She is my iTunes police and recently let her mother know that I have lots of "inappropriate" songs with bad lyrics. Now, for the record, not all of my music is bad - I have 749 songs on my iPod - and I have warned her not to listen to a song until she gets the okay from me! I do enjoy some rap, pop and alternative artists who use some r-rated lyrics. It's my iPhone, I'm 39 years old, and I can download what I want to! Right M Kat????

I was trying to think of some things that M Kat and I have in common and I came up with a list.

• we both like my iPhone
• we both like cheerleading
• we both like to read a lot
• we both like to know the latest gossip
• neither of us like to clean (I told her when I walked into her house tonight that her Mom's house always makes me sick 'cause it's so clean and that you would NEVER see my house as clean as her's and she said, "you will never see mine this clean either!" haha)

and most importantly

• neither of us will settle on just any guy!!
  

Better than nothing is not good enough for Mary Kat OR me :-)

I love you Mary Katherine! Thanks for helping fill that empty spot when my girls aren't around.

No Comment

I've told you before, my friends, that I have a lot of anxiety. I can go for a few weeks and nothing bothers me. Life is good and it feels good to be me. And then, one incident can change my mood and it seems as if life snowballs from there. For instance, something happened on Sunday afternoon that made me very angry. It made the "mama bear claws" come out to protect my son from the very person from whom he should NEVER have to be protected.

I dealt with the issue (sort of) and tried to calm myself down. I decided that ice cream would help with the process. Now, there are two places to get ice cream in the city where I live and they are on complete opposite sides of town. I was returning home and passed up one of them for the ease of driving thru McDonald's drive-thru. I happen to live in a small rural community where the only chain restaurant we have is McDonald's and we've not had it for very many years. In my opinion, it is also the slowest McDonald's on the face of the earth, partly because there is always a long line of customers and partly because they are just slow.

I waited in line in the hot sun. Keep in mind that I do not have air conditioning in the Swagger Wagon and the temperature was 87 degrees outside. When I finally got to the speaker I ordered a kid sized ice cream cone and before I could get the rest of my order out, I heard, "I'm sorry, ma'am, our machine is broken." I asked, "what machine? the ice cream machine?" and she replied "yeah." Again, keep in mind that I not only needed the ice cream to help cool me off mentally, I now needed it to cool me off physically. I have a hard time keeping my "cool" when I'm sweating! Through gritted teeth I said, "I have been sitting in the hot sun WITHOUT air conditioning for more than 10 minutes waiting with my cranky child for ICE CREAM! I think the least you all could do is place a sign in line that states your ice cream machine is BROKEN!" No, I wasn't nice, but she was. In her best, "can I help ya" voice she said, "is there anything else I can get for ya, a frappe' or an iced tea?" Oh, it sounded good but I didn't have the money for a mocha frap and I refused to buy anything if I couldn't get ice cream. We pulled out of line and headed back to the other side of town where Edison and I were eventually able to enjoy some ice cream.

This week, things have continued to snowball. As always, I have financial worries and right now I'm having to make a pretty big decision, on my own, with some counsel of course. I always enjoy heading to Facebook to update my status when I get stressed out. Facebook always poses the question "What's on your mind?" I can never truly type in that little box what is really on my mind so I search for clever, funny sayings to try to let people know what I am feeling while also making them laugh. That way, it keeps it light, gets some "likes" and maybe a few comments of encouragement. My choice of finding and posting clever sayings is better than the alternative of posting what's really on my mind - trust me!!!

Yesterday I posted that I was a little like Dorothy...always finding men who are either cowards, have no heart or no brain. It was not "man bashing" just a funny statement I swiped from Status Shuffle that sounded funny to me. It was actually a statement about ME and really doesn't even apply because I'm not always "finding men". As soon as I posted the update, I logged out and when I logged back in a few hours later, I was surprised to see the post had received quite a number of responses. I soon had people texting me on my phone, calling me at home, sending me chats via Facebook and even inbox messages from people who "didn't want to get involved" but who were very offended by a comment that was made by a man on my page. Oh, once again, I had an opinion, and I so wanted to share it, but I chose to take the high road and keep my mouth shut (for the most part).

To take a break from the stress of my Facebook post, I decided to take a look at my blog and there I found that again, a man had a comment about something I stated in my recent post about visiting the Kentucky State Fair. Evidently, a comment I made had been "tracked" by the Kentucky Lottery and they felt compelled to "set me straight!" First of all, I find it interesting that my words are "being tracked" by our State Government and it makes me wonder who else monitors our "freedom of speech." Lesson learned --- Now I know not to voice any threats toward anyone in future posts. Secondly, I'm not sure whether to be excited that my blog is drawing attention or offended that people feel the need to always comment on something I have to say. I invite encouraging comments to any Facebook posts or blog entries because that's what I need in my life, positive encouragement. It seems the past few days I have been verbally attacked but I'm a big girl, I can handle it. Thirdly, Mr. Polson of the Kentucky Lottery will get a response from me because I think I made it clear in my blog that I do not participate in the Lottery and I have my own reasons for that. Right now, I am collecting some statistics that I intend to share with him and the rest of my readers.

So - many things - my bad mood, multiple wrongs in my life, broken ice cream machines, money problems, big decisions, and comments that everyone seems to have to everything I have to say caused me to get only 3 hours of sleep last night. There is one other pattern my moods seem to follow and I will clue you all in. This is PMS week and my PMS week always coincides with Full Moon week. I don't sleep well during PMS week. I don't sleep well during Full Moon week. Add PMS with a full moon, sprinkle with lots of anxiety and you get one sleep deprived Be-Otchy woman!

My advice to anyone reading this...if you can't comment something nice, please don't comment at all! Have a nice day :-)

A Doughnut Burger and Lavender Linen Spray

I spent an enjoyable Thursday with my mom at the Kentucky State Fair. I last attended the State Fair about 6 years ago. My mom informed me that she had not been since I won a 4-H blue ribbon for my Peanut Butter Cookies at the county level and got to take them to State. That was when I was in the 4th grade, circa 1980 --- 30 years ago!


The reason we attended this year was to watch Cashius O'Neil Logan, my great-nephew, her great-grandson, compete in the State Little Miss and Mr Pageant. He and Miss Mayson Molen proudly represented Garrard County. Although they were the most adorable couple on stage (yes, I was biased), they didn't place in the pageant. There were 69 Little Couples competing and I can't imagine what a judge must look for in a pageant like that. I wasn't overly impressed with the outward appearance of the winning couple; however, I was not privy to the backstage interviews nor did I see any of the children in their casual wear, so who knows. There were LOTS of beautiful children on stage and each of them had families who were hoping they would walk away with the trophy, crown, sash, flowers and check. Cash and Mayson, your cheering section was very proud of you. Do not be disappointed because you will forever hold the title of 2010 Little Miss and Mr Garrard County Fair!!!!

Mom and I walked around all day. We first hit the exhibit hall which contained the 4-H and county fair entries. Mom wanted to check out what a blue ribbon jar of green beans and pickles look like because she thinks she might have a winning jar to enter next year :-). We enjoyed looking at the cakes, pies and candy and I was thinking that I would enjoy being a judge in those divisions. I don't recall seeing any peanut butter cookies this year. I remember when I went as a child, I was disappointed to learn that I had only received a white ribbon at the state level. The state fair gives you a much bigger ribbon than the county fair gives. I didn't want a big white ribbon. I wanted a big Blue ribbon to compliment the smaller one I had already won. White is the equivalent of 3rd place. This was my thinking as a child. Blue = 1st = A; Red = 2nd = B; White = 3rd = C. At that point in my life, I had never had anything other than an A on my report card and darn it, I didn't want a big fat C for my big fattening cookies!!! To add to that disappointment, they had placed ALL of the "C" cookies into a HUGE cookie jar and then listed the names of the people whose cookies were inside. I didn't want people to know that my cookies were in THAT jar.

We spent a little time looking at the photography and painting exhibits and then moved to textiles. We enjoyed looking at the dresses, jackets and clothing and then the quilts. I love quilts and there was one in particular that caught my attention. It was a block quilt that had a woman representing each month of the year. Incorporated into each of her dresses or as an accessory to each of her outfits was an old handkerchief. I took photos with my iPhone because Mom and I wanted our friend, Carolyn, to see the detail of this quilt. We immediately thought of Carolyn's mother, who recently passed away. Gran, as her grandchildren and I called her, was the most talented quilter I have ever known. Any quilt she has ever quilted could hold its own in any competition in the world, I'm sure of it!!!




There were tons of exhibits but I think the one my mom and I enjoyed the most was a miniature replica of "my ole' Kentucky home". It wasn't the Stephen Foster "My Old Kentucky Home" located in Bardstown, Kentucky. This was a miniature mobile home that detailed every backwoods stereotype that Kentucky has to offer. The wheels were still on the mobile home and it was propped up on concrete blocks. There was a crooked little outbuilding sitting to the side and a moonshine still hidden in the woods. There were cats, kittens and dogs everywhere (even in the garbage can), beer cans in the yard, a rebel flag in the window, old metal lawn chairs, a satellite dish on the roof, and I could go on and on. We looked at it forever and just kept finding things. It didn't even win a blue ribbon, it got a big white (a "C") but I personally think it deserved a Championship Purple!!!


Next we moved to the County Exhibits. Many counties were there promoting tourism in their area. Some of their displays were very inviting. Most of them offered a drawing for either a gift basket showcasing items that were made and sold in their county or for a hotel stay and golf package, among other things. We collected tons of brochures, key chains, ink pens, and candy. Mom took a piece of coal from Harlan County and I got a bottle of "hope" water from Manchester, the City of Hope. We saw lots of people walking around with yard sticks but neither of us ended up with one of those :-( and I really needed one because Edison broke mine!!! Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure the one I previously had came from the State Fair...

On down the hall were vendors. Everyone wanted to sell us something! There was jewelry, toys, clothes, purses, sunglasses, Primax windows, hot tubs, outdoor buildings, gazebos, health insurance, life insurance, disability insurance, Dish Network, Direct TV, cookware, steam mops, food items, decorative flags, and I could go on and on. Mom bought three garden flags and a little school bus for Edison. There was one thing I wish I would have purchased and that was a nightgown. It had a bedside table on it with a book, a lamp and some other items and at the top was written "One Night Stand". I went back at the end of the night to purchase the gown but the lady had already shut down her cash register. I didn't purchase anything...well, yes I did...but that comes later in this story...

Disbursed through all of these booths were the service provider booths. Police departments, sheriff departments, and KY State offices (Secretary of State, Tourism, Transportation, Health and Family Services, etc.), offering various information. The democrats and republicans each had booths encouraging people to vote for "their man". The FEI Alltech World Equestrian Games had lots of information about their upcoming event and I signed up to win two tickets to an event (even though I've already purchased tickets to attend with my family one day). There was a big beautiful John Deere tractor on display and various hospitals offered dermatology cancer checks, hearing tests, vision tests and colon cancer screenings, etc. While I visited many of these booths to see what they had to offer, there is one that caught my attention. Sitting next to a brand new Sheriff's cruiser, was a BEAUTIFUL bright red 2010 Chevrolet Camaro - MY DREAM CAR! My only purchase (besides food) was a chance to win this car. I normally don't spend money on chances but I stopped and said, "Mom, that is my dream car". She said, "Buy a chance". I told her that I only brought $45 in cash with me to the fair and didn't want to use my debit card unless I had to but quickly said "I guess I might as well spend it on that, I just spent $10 on lunch and that would be better than buying something I don't need." She then reminded me that my grandfather had won a truck many years ago at the Boyle County Fair and I said, "Well, that just confirms why I shouldn't buy it, what are the chances that two people in the same family would win a car at a fair" and then she said, "Aunt Evelyn told me the other day that her dad won a car one time too" and I said "well, then, maybe I should, it sounds like our family is lucky at winning cars!" Eventually, with the "okay from Mom", I made the decision and purchased one $10.00 chance on my dream car. All proceeds benefit Trooper Island.

Trooper Island Camp was developed by the Kentucky State Police as part of a long range program of public service to the youth of Kentucky: a place where the tensions and turmoil of our everyday lives can be forgotten; and for one week young people can be given a touch of hope and desire of a better tomorrow.

I was told that the drawing for the car will be held on Sunday, August 29th. I teased my mom and told her that I would be holding a special prayer after church that day - LOL! Only 20,000 tickets will be sold and they told me that they didn't think they were going to be able to sell all of them this year so that would increase my chances. I know that I probably won't win but my odds of winning this car are better than if I played the lottery (which I do not do). The best thing is the money I spent will benefit a good program - unlike the promises that were made when the Kentucky Lottery was instituted!!! I think the lottery promised major improvements and tons of money going into our education system... which NEVER happened and NEVER will. That reminds me... a huge corner of one of the exhibit halls was dedicated to our fine Kentucky Lottery. There were as many tables in the lottery area as were in the food area and the tables were full of people sitting and scratching off tickets hoping to become one of Kentucky's newest millionaires. All I want is a vehicle with air in the summertime and heat in the winter - one I can depend on to get me back and forth to work and if that vehicle happens to be an "arrest-me-red" Chevy Camaro then I will have the added bonus of driving to work and getting a few heads to turn my way. I could use that too :-)

We did a lot of walking, even walking across the Kentucky Fair Exposition Center, to see the dairy cows on display and the Mules and Jacks. Unfortunately, not many mules and jacks had arrived so Mom and I were a little disappointed to have walked so far only to see about 10 mules. I had to use my iPhone to Google the difference between a Mule and a Jack. I knew what a mule was, and I thought I knew what a Jack was but we needed some clarification. FYI - a mule is a cross between a mare (female horse) and a male donkey (a/k/a a Jack Ass). We didn't see any Jack's, just a few mules. Our Google session also informed us that you can also cross a male horse (Stallion) with a female donkey (a/k/a a Jenny) and get a "Henny". Jack's, Jenny's, Mule's and Henny's - they should teach things like that at the Kentucky State Fair! Once again, thank goodness for my iPhone, I don't know what I would do without it. The best thing about our walk in the hot sun from the Expo Center to Freedom Hall to see the Jack's and Mules was the fact that we got to hear Sugarland warming up for their concert. We even got to peek through a curtain and get a glimpse of them. We also saw their big trucks outside and tour vans so that made the walk all worthwhile. Well, that and the information we learned from Googling :-)


Of course, you can't go to any Fair without talking about the food! I had a Ribeye sandwich from the Kentucky Cattlemen's Association and it was very tasty. I later enjoyed some German Roasted pecans and cashews, you know the kind with the cinnamon sugar coating? My favorite! I also had some popcorn and a chocolate/vanilla twist ice cream cone. There was something new I had never seen and I was tempted to try it but just couldn't imagine how it would taste. It was called a Doughnut Burger. Evidently, it is a hamburger sandwiched between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts! Now, I'm all about a good hamburger and I enjoy the occasional Krispy Kreme doughnut, but together? I just couldn't do it! I admit I was and continue to be curious about this so-called doughnut burger. I guess if you are going to try one, the State Fair would be the best place because as soon as you finish eating it, you can head back inside to the colon cancer screening desk to let them know what you've just done! They might recommend a colon cleansing and then a trip to the booth next door - the American Heart Association.

We ended our night watching the Little Miss and Mr Pageant and Mom and I spent the night at the Crowne Plaza. I had told her that I wanted to sleep late and that she should wake me up at 10:00 a.m. That would give me time to take a shower and get everything ready before check-out at 11. Mom assured me that she would be quiet the next morning as she planned to work on her own writing while I slept in. We sprayed our beds with Lavender Linen Spray and the next thing I knew, I looked at the clock and I thought it said 10:40 a.m. I rubbed my eyes, tried to open them a little wider and brought the clock closer to my face and again saw that it said 10:40. I looked over at the bed next to mine and my mom was sound asleep. I said, "Mom, it's 10:40!" She sleepily asked, "What?" and I repeated, "It's 10:40!" Neither one of us are morning people. My mom has to have at least one cup of coffee before she will even talk to you. I prefer to lay in bed until the very last minute before I have to begin rushing around to be out the door to barely arrive at my destination on time. The problem with it being 10:40 was that we had to check out of the hotel by 11!! Luckily, they offered check-out via television. Mom checked out right at 11 and we monitored the location of the housekeepers which gave us a few extra minutes to get out. Neither of us had time for showers or much of anything else. When we left, Mom said, "I think this is the first time I have ever left a nice hotel without using the shower, or at least one of their towels." We laughed and said it must have been the lavender linen spray. Both of us are ready to return to the Crowne Plaza Hotel for another good nights sleep. Next time we plan to get to bed a little earlier than midnight. I guess we also better schedule a wake-up call to get the most we can out of the hotel during our stay. We want to be sure to enjoy their hot water and use some of their bath towels!