On Turning 40...

In less than a week, I will celebrate my 40th birthday...and I have mixed feelings about the occasion...

When I turned 30, I had been married 12 years and had two children, I figured I needed to be 30.
When I turned 35, I had been married almost half my life and I figured I needed to be 35.
Between 35 and 40...my life CHANGED dramatically...

I went back to college and earned my bachelor's degree, I became the mother of a toddler and I went through a heartbreaking divorce...I think the thing that bothers me the most about turning 40 is that I'm just not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, but then, I think about that and I feel guilty because truthfully, I am not where I want to be materialistically in my life.

At age 40, I struggle to make ends meet on my single salary and child support.  After being a homeowner for 16 years, I now rent.  I was driving a bright red, loaded, new model vehicle and now drive a 12 year old mini-van that cramps my single lifestyle.

I have a WISH LIST of material items --- it includes...

• an iPhone 4 (my mom told me she would buy me one for Christmas IF I were an only child). 
• 2011 Chevrolet Camaro (color choice: arrest-me-red)
• a rockin' SYSTEM in my car (cause the Swagger Wagon has a busted speaker and a cassette player)
• a home of my own (just because I miss that)
• a new stylish wardrobe --- one that fits after my weight loss and of which my daughters approve and also cool shoes to go with it!

But then, I think, these are just THINGS, Dana!  In the grand scheme of life, what do they really mean?

• Sure, an iPhone 4 may not need to be charged as often as the iPhone I currently have (and yes, I realize I complain about money and have an iPhone, but it is truly one of the only indulgences I have for ME --- well, that and my acrylic nails - that I don't get filled-in often enough)
• I would truly look GOOD in a bright red Camaro, but what about on snow days?  How useful would a rear-wheel drive sports car be on a day like today?  And my gosh!  The insurance would be outrageous, right?  
• Oh!  And I LOVE music and I look forward to the day when I drive a car that has a better system than the Swagger Wagon.  Part of what gives my mini-van its "swagger" is the fact that the right front speaker is busted and it has an AM/FM Cassette player - NO CD PLAYER - however, I can run my iTunes through an FM Transmitter and listen to my extensive music collection through my car speakers.  I just have to adjust the speakers if I'm listening to a song with some bass, otherwise, it sounds like someone is trying to play a Kazoo.  
• A home of my own.  I have great landlords and they pretty much let me do what I want to do.  They even let my daughter paint her room PURPLE! And the best part of not owning my own home?  I didn't get the TAX BILL in the mail in October meaning I am not stressing about having to pay it by the end of the year!  
• New clothes and shoes?  I can still shop the sale racks - I always have!  And I have never been one to be crazy over name-brands, although a good pair of name-brand shoes sure feel better than generic knock-offs.  For the most part, if I find something I like, it fits and it's a good deal?  I'll buy it. 

So...aside from material items, I need to be happy with what I have.  Realizing that turning 40 is better than the alternative -- being dead!  I'm certainly not ready for that!  I'm healthy, I'm happy, I love my family and my family loves me!  I have three wonderful, beautiful children!  I have great friends and an awesome church family. I know God!  Those are the important things. 

A few months before I turned 30, Tim McGraw released a new album that had a song entitled "My Next 30 Years".  Here are the lyrics...

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years


I LOVED that song!  I even purchased the CD and gave it to my best friend, Melissa, for her 30th birthday that year.  Y'all all know that I'm not listening to Tim McGraw much these days.  I'm a KID ROCK FANatic!  Kid Rock turns 40 in January and he just released his most mellow CD EVER!  Of course, with the release of a new CD, means a TOUR, which also means that I want to see him when he comes to LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY on February 11th!  He got me through my divorce and now he needs to get me through my 40th year!


I found a poem online about turning 40...the author is unknown, but I like her thoughts :-)


Fine Chardonnay!

It's hard to believe I'm 39.
But am I aging like fine wine?

They say 39 is the new 25
Could someone please tell my thighs.

My make-up free days are a thing of the past.
I just hope my concealer lasts.

What are these grey hairs atop my head.
Tell me Miss Clairol, should I go red?

These lines on my face are beginning to furrow
Soon they'll be deep enough for a rabbit's burrow

But joking and silliness aside
This has been a wonderful ride

So 40 I'm ready, bring what you may
I've decided, I'm a fine Chardonnay!