Giving Truth...With Grace

Last weekend I attended a conference hosted by Answers in Genesis entitled "LIFE".  I was there as an Exhibitor, however, a big perk was being able to attend the conference and listen to the speakers.  I was excited about a quiet weekend in a hotel...alone.  I crave alone time.  I also prayed that God would speak to me and fill my soul with truth through my time alone and while participating in the conference.  He did!

I don't even know where to start. 

Hearing scientists (geneticists, physicians, biochemists, engineers) who believe in God, but more than that, believe in the Trinity and teach what they know scientifically from a Christian perspective, was AMAZING!  I learned a lot from a scientific and biblical standpoint.  But there was more I took away.

One of the speakers shared her personal testimony.  After becoming a Christian, while still a "baby Christian" (in her words), she had an abortion.  Her story made me cry.  I wanted to hear more so when I got home, I searched YouTube and found she had also spoken at the 2015 AiG conference on a similar topic.  I would link it but I can no longer find it.  I don't want to share her story for her but you should take time to listen to the first part of this interview as she was leading up to promote this year's conference.  CLICK HERE! to get a peek at her story.

Compassion, kindness and grace go a long way.  She shared in 2015 how anti-abortion bumper stickers continue to make her sad and asked people to think about whether their words were edifying or hurtful and then gave examples of some which were mean and others which were truth-filled but full of grace. 

I have a problem with keeping my thoughts to myself when I have been offended.  Ya'll don't understand how these words swirl in my head begging me to write them on paper.  Even when I know I will be judged and what I need to say will be unpopular, I can't rest until I speak my peace.  When I decide to share what is on my heart, I spend a lot of time choosing my words carefully and presenting what I want to say in a way which gives truth..with grace. Sometimes, I'm better at it than other times.  Many times, I think the world would be a better place if I would cut my fingers off.  Same can be said for a lot of people who comment on things.

Anyway, I continue to stumble on things with a recurring them and so I decided to share...

These quotes:

Your tongue is powerful, and with it, you can edify or vilify others.  Use it to edify.

Exposing yourself to consistent negative feedback will invariably attack your faith.  Who are you listening to?  What voices are you permitting to influence your thoughts?  It is time to shut out every opinion that contradicts God's word concerning you.  Stop engaging in careless social talk that does not edify.  Words are powerful.  Make sure the ones you listen to will add and not take away from you.

And these bible verses (NIV):

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Romans 14:19

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.  Hebrews 3:13

And...God continues to teach me.  Today, it was while reading my new devotional called "Embraced" by Lysa TerKeurst.  This sentence punched me in the gut:

"It's tough being a sold-out soul for Christ stuck in a body that's so tempted to sin." 

Even when I'm trying to be more aware and do better, when God puts it all right in front of my face, I'm still a sinner.  I'm thankful for a loving God who doesn't give up on Giving Truth...With Grace...to me. 

Have a blessed week...Dana
 

A Grounding of My Own - by Guest Blogger - Angela Correll

I've been a blogger since 2006 and after all those years, I am excited to have my very first Guest Blogger!  Angela Correll is a best-selling author and I am thrilled to be on the launch team for her 3rd book "Granted", to be released in one week on November 22nd.  To learn more visit www.angelacorrell.com. I sincerely hope you enjoy learning more about Angela, reading the blog she wrote especially for Dana's Different Directions and ordering her trilogy!  Thanks ~Dana

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: ANGELA CORRELL is the author of Grounded, Guarded, and Granted. She lives on a farm near Stanford, Kentucky with her husband, Jess. Angela's novels are Amazon bestsellers and have been adapted to the stage for sold-out audiences at the Pioneer Playhouse, Kentucky’s oldest outdoor theater. When she's not writing, Angela oversees several businesses in downtown Stanford, including Kentucky Soaps & Such, a goat milk soap factory and retail shop; Wilderness Road Guest Houses & Rooms, historically renovated homes and guest rooms available for nightly rental; and the Bluebird Café, a farm-to-table restaurant, with Executive Chef William Hawkins. Angela has a bachelor’s degree in communication from Georgetown College and a master’s degree in library and information science from the University of Kentucky. She loves canning vegetables from her garden, exploring the Tuscan countryside, and spending time with her family.

A Grounding of My Own
Angela Correll, author of The May Hollow Trilogy

During my nearly decade living in Lexington, a mouse was a device I used with my computer, rain was a weekend spoiler, and a snake was something the plumber used to fix my toilet. All that changed when I married my gentleman farmer and moved to the country.

I was not a complete stranger to the farm; I lived on one for the first five years of my life. My grandfathers were both farmers, as were most of my other relatives. Even so, I spent my growing up years in a small town and shed that as quickly as I could after college for the brighter lights of Lexington, and the excitement of a job that offered travel all over the United States. 

After living most of my adult life in the fast-paced hustle and bustle of work, hotels, airports, and fine restaurants, it seemed a new and very strange place for me to find myself as a 32-year old newlywed.  

 But somehow the farm felt like home. With generations of agricultural background, the land welcomed me as if I were the prodigal child, lured away for a spell by city glitter but back where I belonged. 

I hardly knew where to start. We had space for animals – like goats and chickens – a plot for a vegetable garden, and even flowers, herbs and berries.  It was all waiting for me to make my mark, but my farming knowledge was severely stunted.

I could tell you where to go for gourmet vegetarian cuisine in San Francisco, Greek saganaki in Chicago, and Ethiopian doro wat in Washington, D.C.  I knew how to navigate flights and rental cars, how to coordinate receptions and dinners, and how to write a policy paper. All that was useless when it came to planting a tomato, pruning a grape vine, or bottle-feeding a baby goat. 

I leaned on my gardening father and did what came natural for my library background: I read. I read books on raising goats and chickens, books on gardening, books on horses. Through all that, I made sure to keep handy the mother of all farming books: The Farmer’s Almanac. 

I realized the importance of this last book when I called my vet to see if she would castrate a male baby goat we had acquired. She put me on hold while she checked the “signs.”  Was this vet slang for checking her schedule? She came back on the line and informed me the Almanac said the moon’s phase was right for castration the coming Friday and she would be out around 10 that morning. 
Ridiculous.  I imagined calling my former colleagues to tell them our meetings would be held only when the moon was waxing. I would be fired first, and then quietly driven to the local mental health clinic. On the other hand, the moon does control the ocean tides, I thought, so maybe it’s not so crazy after all. That realization began my personal grounding.

Through the process of experiencing country life with fresh eyes, a story about a young woman whose city living had overshadowed her farming roots percolated inside me, resulting in the May Hollow Trilogy of Grounded, Guarded and Granted. 

My character’s grounding mirrored my own and I can happily say I am now firmly planted. 

 

Angela Correll and Koehler Books invite readers down May Hollow Road one last time with the release of Granted, Correll's third novel. Granted takes readers from Kentucky farm country to old-world Tuscany in the company of Annie Taylor, a reformed city girl, and Beulah, her straight-laced grandma. New readers and Correll’s loyal fans will find Granted—the final chapter in the May Hollow Trilogy—a delightfully satisfying read.

Former international flight attendant Annie Taylor is embracing her country roots and racing toward

a future with her sustainable farmer fiancé, but wedding plans are complicated by her new job, a

mysterious ex-boyfriend, and a narcissistic father. Meanwhile, Annie’s old-fashioned grandma, Beulah, is facing a shakeup in the last place she ever thought she would – home. A crisis on May Hollow Road follows a friend’s betrayal, challenging Beulah’s forgiving nature. An unwelcome diet, a new houseguest, and a possible overseas trip will all stretch her spirit – if she lets it. Granted follows Grounded and Guarded in the May Hollow Trilogy.

Granted will release in a classic softcover edition, ebook, audiobook, and, notably, a hardcover edition.  In addition, Grounded and Guarded will be re-released in hardcover editions as part of a special May Hollow Trilogy gift set.

 

To order on Amazon, click HERE!

For a sneak peek of the first 6 pages of Granted, click HERE!

 

Time to Read!

The last time I started a blog was March 16, 2016.  I had entitled it "Yes...it happened...when I least expected it."  It was started a few months after Mike and I married, while he was in Virginia for 5 months, and it begged to be written to answer all the questions about how we got together and ended up married two months later.  The draft sits there, along with a few others I've started in the past, waiting for me to revisit, re-read, edit and publish.  Writing is my therapy and the good Lord knows I've needed some good therapy lately.

I've been thinking about something else that is good for my mental health that I don't take time to do and that is...READ.  I absolutely love to read and at one time I was reading everything I could get my hands on.  In the past two years, I've only read two books. American Sniper as told by Chris Kyle and Guarded by Angela Correll.    American Sniper was the first gift given to me by Mike.  I received it as a birthday gift in December of 2015.  I started reading it.  We got married.  I got a promotion.  Life got crazy and I quit reading.  This past spring, I took time to read and thoroughly enjoyed Angela Correll's novel, Guarded, the 2nd in her series set in May Hollow.  If you haven't heard about her books, Grounded and Guarded, I encourage you to read them NOW because Granted, the 3rd and final book in her trilogy hits the shelves on November 22nd! 

What do you do to take care of yourself?  You'll find me curled up in my favorite blanket these chilly days, reading!  The first book in my lineup?  Granted by Angela Correll

To pre-order your copy of Granted, click HERE!

There's No Driving Like Snow Driving

I got married when I was 18 years old.  In this day and age, it's almost embarassing to admit that now. I graduated from high school when I was 17 and had nearly one year of college behind me when I walked down the aisle in April.  The following winter, we lived in the bottom of Sue Barbara Court, at the end of Highland Avenue.  It snowed, the hill was slick and like any 18 year old, I was tired of being cooped up.  It was then I decided I was going to teach myself to drive in the snow.  Paul and I were inseparable then, so I'm assuming that if I headed out without him, it was because he was either working or sleeping because he had worked night shift.  

At the time, I was driving my first car, a little light blue 1982 Toyota Corolla - 5 speed.  Somehow I slipped and slid up the incine and made it to Highland Avenue.  I don't recall if I had somewhere to go or if I just wanted out, but I remember driving to the high school parking lot with an agenda.  I was going to teach myself how to drive in the snow.  I have no recollection of how long I was there or even what I did but I remember getting up some speed, hitting my brakes and just getting the feel of what I needed to do to steer out of a skid and I did good!  I was proud of myself.  I thought I might end up doing a doughnut or two but I didn't.  (I did that unintentionally one time on a main road while Jamie was in the same car with me - I still don't know what happened that time - only remembering that I was coming to an intersection, I pushed in the clutch to gear down and the next thing I knew Jamie and I had spun 360 degrees on wet pavement!)

My mom had always gotten out in the snow and went where she needed to go and I guess I wanted to be like her.  She reminded me the other day of the time she tried to gun her Monte Carlo through a snow drift that we could barely see over.  That was back in 1978 or 79.  That didn't turn out so well - haha and Daddy had to come and pull us out with chains. Well, someone did.  I'm not sure if he came looking for us or if someone else had driven upon our predicament - we certainly didn't have cell phones back in the 70s!  I remember another time my mom was driving down US 27 in the snow and all of the sudden she lost control.  We crossed over into oncoming traffic (near where Willie Frances Graham lives) and I could see the whites of the driver's eyeballs).  All of the sudden Mom swerved out of their way, overcorrected onto our side into the shoulder and then somehow straightened the car back up.  Jesus definitely had the wheel that day.  Come to think of it, Jamie was in the back seat on that day too. She said something like... "Nannie!  You...you...you just ran off into the snow cream!"  

For 25 years, I've been getting out in the snow when I need to and sometimes just because I want to.  This is the first time though, since driving the Corolla, that I have a "tiny car" that won't always go when I want it to.  For instance, the other day when I was stuck in the driveway!  When I could finally get out, I took both girls with me.  I told them they need to learn to drive in the snow.  Emily told me she still remembers the time her Dad tried to get our car in Nannie and Papa's driveway and couldn't and I said, "Let me try it" and succeeded :-) Hopefully I've made an impression on her like my mom did for me.  I gave them pointers on how you need to be aware of the road ahead of you so you can avoid using your brakes if it all possible.  It's better to get off the gas and let the car slow on its own when you are driving on a snow covered road.  I explained how the lower gears allow you to have better traction when climbing a snow covered hill and Emily asked "oh, is that what the 1 and 2 are for?"  And I told them I can't really explain what you do, you just have to learn it.  With that information, I encouraged them that when the roads were safer, they should take their vehicles to an open area that is snow covered and get the feel of steering through a skid.  It's definitely a skill they will need for years to come.  We don't all live on main highways - sometimes just getting out of your subdivision requires snow driving skills.  And sometimes, whether its by choice or necessity, we find ourselves driving little bitty cars that are great on gas mileage 11.5 months out of the year but not the best in getting us through the snow for maybe 2 weeks at the most!

I still enjoy the challenge of snow driving.  I can sit inside the house a lot longer now than I could at age 18 but even at 44 a person will eventually go stir crazy!  I'm the one who looks all around to see if any cars are coming up behind me or coming toward me and still do a brake check just for the practice when its been snowing.  So far, I've remained safe and Jesus has taken the wheel when needed.  I pray that He will continue to look over me when I'm driving, especially considering I drive about 26,000 miles each year!

Stay safe y'all!  

Divorce-aversary

Six years ago today...

My sister thinks its ridiculous I can remember the date, so I didn't even remind her that I remembered another year had passed.  In fact, I only shared it with three people...until you all read this.  Remembering dates is both a blessing and a curse.  This morning, I woke up, looked at the time and date and it was the first thing I thought of.  "Oh!  It's February 6th. I've been single for 6 years...has it been six years?  Wow!  Six years.... Happy Divorce-aversary to me....Six years...I've come a long way..." and then THE song popped into my head.  I guess because thinking back to where I was six years ago was both overwhelming and empowering!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified

     TRUE

Kept thinking I could never live without him by my side

     TRUE

But then I spent so many nights,

thinking how he did me wrong

     TRUE

And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

     TRUE

And so you're back...from out of space...

     FALSE

He never came back... and that rejection....that's what hurt most of all.  

First I had to fall out of love and then I had to deal with the rejection.

It took a long time!!  Much more than half of the six years.  

And rejection?  It changes a person...

He's the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye...

I almost crumbled...I wanted to lay down and die

     KNOW WHAT?  I DIDN'T!  

I SURVIVED!

As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive

     THANKS TO MY CHILDREN

I've got all my life to live

     TRUE

I've got all my love to give

     TRUE

And I'll SURVIVE!!!!

Now this brings me around to another song I've been singing this past week.

Little diddy...'bout Jack and Diane.  You know...two American kids growing up in the heartland?

You know who I'm talking about, right?

The lyric that has stuck in my head all week is this one.

Oh yeah, life goes on....long after the thrill of living is gone

     IT'S BEEN A BAD WEEK

     I'M MISSING THE THRILL

Oh yeah, life goes on...

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart

     TRUE

Kept tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

     TRUE

And I spent oh so many nights feeling sorry for myself

     TRUE (too many)

I used to cry

      A LOT!

But now I hold my head up high!

     MOST DAYS WHEN I'M NOT MISSING THE THRILL

I'm not that chained up little person still in love

     THANK GOD!

I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me :-)

     HOPE FOR THE FUTURE

For the record, this post is not meant, in any way, to be offensive toward Wasband.   This is about me and how I've grown from a very naive and scared woman when he first left to someone who has proven to myself that I WILL SURVIVE.  A divorced relationship is not an easy one to manage, especially when no one involved has any experience.  At the end of the day, I don't think either of us wish ill will toward the other...well, okay, there have been times - LOL, but in all seriousness, I have never wished that he was absent from my children's lives because I know he loves them and they need him.  In the past few weeks, I have taken a huge step to finally be able to let go and truly heal by having an open conversation with his wife.  We have both agreed to take baby steps toward a better relationship with one another.  I am hopeful.  We both know there are things that will come about to cause stress and we've agreed to deal with those as they come without undoing any progress we have made.  We've also agreed to just ask the other about things before assuming tone.  The mother/step-mother relationship is even harder to navigate than the divorced spouse.  I'm supposed to be reading a book I suggested to her that we read together entitled "No One's the Bitch" about how to navigate the mother/stepmother relationship.  I haven't downloaded it yet but I plan to do that next week.  

God has been dealing with me lately to LET IT GO...uhm...I'm not singing that one!

It's not in my nature to hate.  It's also not like me to be unforgiving.  I hope most people who have been a big part of my life know that about me.  It's taken me awhile to get there with this particular situation.  

You will begin to heal when you let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.  -Author Unknown

Forgiveness will lead to the hope for my future...into eternity.  

I WILL SURVIVE!

Credits to Ms. Gloria Gaynor for her lyrics to "I Will Survive", a song I had heard for years but never truly listened until the lyrics got my attention. 

There's a Mama Bear in the Soccer Stands

Tonight, my daughter ended her high school junior season for the Garrard County Lady Lions soccer team.  They lost in the worst way possible...they were mercy ruled, meaning the other team scored 10 goals more than them to end the game early.  That's a horrible way to end a season.  It's sad for the seniors and for the team and doesn't show at all the strength this team has when playing a team of equal pairing. 

It was an ugly, rainy and cold night...and I got ugly.  First of all, I dislike when both teams have to sit together.  Our field is like that.  All the bleachers are together and both team's parents have to sit side by side.  Soccer can be an aggressive sport and sometimes parents can get a little hot when calls are being overlooked and players are playing dirty.  It's awful when you have to listen to the snarky remarks made by the opposing team. 

So tonight, I mouthed back on a couple of occasions.  For instance, when they [a few of the opposing team spectators]  were cheering for a girl who received a penalty for a dirty play and then when they [the people sitting next to me] started saying "Come on! Let's mercy rule them so we can go eat some warm soup!"  Really? 

I know not everyone will agree with me.  Some people are super competitive and want to win BIG at whatever the cost.  I don't guess I should expect everyone to be as nice as our coach but a little give wouldn't kill anyone either.  We could have easily mercy ruled Casey County a few weeks back but instead of ending the game, our coach let the defense play offense, pulled the goalie out of the box and let her play forward to try to score, and tried people around at different positions.   It gave the girls a chance to have fun and keep playing without causing a total embarrassment to the other team.   
Boyle County came tonight with all intentions of mercy ruling us.  They kept their secondary team in full warm-up attire throughout the entire game obviously not intending to play them.  I don't understand, and maybe someone can enlighten me, as to why all school sports teams have to be in a geographical district except football and they get to play teams who come from the same size school.  Shouldn't this apply to all sports?  I guess in a perfect world!

I mean, sometimes I feel like our school playing Boyle County is like a private Christian college team playing a top ranked Division 1 NCAA team.  They come in 3 benches deep, wearing their matching warm ups with monogrammed backpacks.  Five coaches and a special breast cancer awareness uniform.  To rub more salt in our wound, several girls from both teams played little league together and a few played with us through middle school and maybe even one year of high school. 

Don't get me wrong...I love those girls, their parents and their grandparents.  Some are Garrard County people and their families continue to be.  I remember the day two of those girls were born and I grew up with their parents.  This is not about the girls.  They are awesome soccer players - the whole Boyle County team is a great soccer team!  My daughter played with a soccer club this past spring with a few of the girls, made new friendships and rekindled some old. 

Tonight...I'm the mama bear. The one who wants to protect her young.  It hurts to lose!  It hurt my heart to see my daughter, who absolutely loves the sport of soccer and who played her heart out tonight, walk off the field with tears in her eyes because her junior season ended on this note.  It makes me mad because everyone [okay...not everyone...but several spectators] on the other team seemed to think it was funny and more important  to get out of the rain than to let our girls finish with their heads up.

Was tonight one of my proud to be Dana nights?  Nope.  I let my emotions get the best of me.  Do I mean for this post to be ugly toward anyone?  Absolutely not!  I've just always been free with sharing my feelings and I had some raw ones tonight. 

This is what I'm feeling ... Sadness for a team of WONDERFUL sweet girls and two GREAT coaches who walked off the field drenched in cold rain, some with a few tears flowing, all hanging their heads in defeat.  This is not what Garrard Soccer is.  We had a great season.  We just happen to be a small school surrounded by bigger schools and play in a very competitive district. 

Keep your heads up.  I love you all...I have faith in you...and next year is a new year.  I'm looking forward to my Senior year as a Soccer Mom!

WE ARE GC!

It Takes Me Awhile...

It takes me awhile to get over things. For instance, my husband left me over 5 years ago and I still struggle with the aftermath of that. It took awhile for me to even date again. The few guys I have met have contributed to destroying my self esteem even more than the man I was married to. Two years post divorce I dated a guy who died unexpectedly for a stupid reason and I continue to deal with that. It seems that most men I have ever trusted my heart with has lied, cheated, betrayed or deceived me in a big way. 

Needless to say a HUGE part of my self-esteem issues revolve around... REJECTION and because of that I easily slip into the "friend" mode. It's easier to set yourself up as a friend than to put yourself out there to be rejected. A person can only take so much of that!

And so, I'm always perplexed by the  people who have split up from their boyfriends or divorced theirs spouses, or how those who have lost loved ones due to death, can move on so quickly. Many are now engaged. Some have children with new partners.  Others have had multiple new people in their lives and still others are remarried and I'm just over here like...huh?

I know people grieve differently.  I grieved the loss of my marriage like a death. And the death of a boyfriend was painful in itself and then brought back the grief from the marriage loss and it seems to be a vicious cycle.  Anytime I face rejection it brings it all back. Sounds like I need counseling...or maybe I'm picky and I've realized I'm not desperate. I've proven I can make it on my own and although it would be nice to walk through life with someone, I'm not willing to settle. 

If that means I'll be single forever, then so be it. Although it hasn't always been easy, I don't regret the time I've taken to heal from the hurt and to help my children heal from theirs. We are all still very much a work in progress with the life we've been forced to face. 

Hope you've enjoyed another entry of "Dana Shares Too Much". This will come back to bite me when I want to run for political office. Oh, who am I kidding?  I would never set myself up for that rejection!